Fallen
by toledo girl
Summary: An unto you, I present the devil. An evil worse than one committed by two lesser evils, one created by the desecration of the truly innocent.
1. Taking Over Me

Chapter 1: Taking Over Me

Mary Eunice sat in her room, conflicted. The devil had control over most of her thoughts and actions. There were only rare moments in which the true her came out and allowed her to realize everything that she had done. All she wanted to do was die, be able to let go of it all and escape this hell that surrounded both externally and internally.

"I can't," she cried. She crouched down, ending up on her knees. Her hands clenched on each side of her head. The mere thoughts racing through her head were all too much for her, let alone going through with the act.

Everything that she had been called to do, every little act of inhumane torture and unholiness. It all repulsed her. It was even worse hearing and thinking about, but actually going through with it? That was the worst. Especially when she herself came out during the act, but couldn't stop.

"You can and you will!" she snapped at herself. The devil was taking back control. Sometimes, she wondered if those moments of her control were really her strength in overcoming the devil, or if it was him allowing her to suffer more.

Hesitantly, Mary Eunice lifted herself up and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Messy long blonde hair over the red slip she had stolen from Jude. This is what she had come to. Three months ago, she was innocent. She was pure, and naïve. Now, she was, evil. She was tainted, violated at the most horrible level.

Sighing, she straightened herself out and walked over to her bed, grabbing her normal uniform and placing it over the slip that she hated so much. She had to look like she wasn't planning anything. She had to go out seeming to still be that innocent little nun.

It was what was going to happen afterwards that bothered her. She needed the seed of a man. She needed to produce the son of the devil himself.

Mary Eunice was ready to throw up at the thought, but the devil however, was not going to allow that.

Regretting each and every step, she made her way down the hall. Carefully, she went through every detail in her head. The plan was very clear, seduce him and get what you need and then get out as soon as possible.

She knocked at the door, waiting patiently until she received the okay to enter. A part of her, while waiting, was hoping that maybe he would turn her away, tell her that he couldn't see anyone right now. She didn't have that luck though.

After getting the okay, she pushed the door open, standing in the door frame. A smirk coming across her face. Sinister eyes narrowing in on her current victim. Her arm lifted above her head, holding onto the door frame as her body leaned against it. "How are we feeling today. Father?" she questioned.

Timothy sat up in his bed, alert. Shacath had told him of what was going on here. He had to help her, but at he same time, that look in her eyes. The lust. It made him tense. He clenched onto his rosary even tighter as he positioned himself to sit up taller in bed. "Better," he cautiously answered, hoping that she might just turn and go away. That was too much hope though. She looked like she was determined to get something from him.

"Good," she responded, pushing herself from the door frame. She headed over to the end of his bed. "I bet once I'm done here, you'll be even better," she mentioned, causing the Monsignor's eyes to widen.


	2. Taken Over

Chapter 2: Taking Over

Mary Eunice walked down the hall, her heals clicking against the hard cement. The noise echoed through the cold hall. She finally stopped at one particular door and pulled out the keys. As soon as she opened the door, she leaned against the doorframe, swinging the keys around her finger. "Well look at you," she sneered.

Jude was lying on her cot, her back to Mary Eunice. "What do you want?" she hoarsely implored. All she wanted was to be left alone. She wanted to sleep and try to forget about everything.

Mary Eunice smirked, catching the keys in her hand. "I wanted to be the first to tell you the good news," she announced before standing up and taking a few casual steps towards the bed.

This got Jude's attention. She quickly pushed herself up, preparing herself for the worst. Hearing that there was something the devil was happy about, could never be good. "What have you done?" she coldly questioned. Her eyes were glued on the once innocent nun.

"I like to think of what I did as charity work," she remarked.

"I don't understand," Jude admitted.

Mary Eunice's smile grew bigger. "I showed Monsignor Timothy Howard what he's missing out on. I informed him so that he could have a clear understanding of both choices, just to make sure he chose the right path in life. It would be a shame to have a priest that was full of regret," she explained. The new sinister part of her was evident in her eyes.

Jude couldn't believe what she was hearing. She jumped up and stood before Mary Eunice. "What are you saying?" she implored.

Mary Eunice just laughed. "Like you don't know Judy. I've just done something that you've always wanted to do," she informed her. A sinister gleam in her eyes as she looked into Jude's eyes. Malice in her smile. "And you do understand what I'm talking about."

"You didn't," Jude nearly begged. No matter what that man did, she knew how he cherished his virtue. What got her more though, was the jealousy. It stung her, harshly. She didn't care for him much now after he locked her away, but there was still the fact that she had lusted after him first. This entire time, in her mind at least, he was her's. Now this woman comes along and gets the night she wanted? It was wrong, no matter what it was wrong. No woman should have taken his virtue. It was still the idea though, that if she couldn't have him herself, no one could. "How could you?" Jude snarled.

Jude closed the space between them. She was seething. Her fist clenched at her sides. "How could you?" she growled.

Mary Eunice just laughed with delight. Seeing this woman get wound up was something she constantly worked at, anything to be able to get to punish her without getting any questions. "Easy, I was the one who could actually turn him on," she smugly replied.

Jude just screamed as she raised her hand and slapped her across the face, only to receive a grin. "You're gonna regret you did that," she said. She reached for her whistle and blew it, signaling for the guards to come in and take Jude. Her smile grew bigger as she watched Jude get taken away, the sound of her yelling that she didn't deserve this, her kicking and struggling.

"Did you hear what she did? Did you hear! She rubbed her dirty naked body all over him!" Jude called out through the hall as she was being taken away by the two men.

Mary Eunice stepped into the hall, right outside the cell door, watching her intently. "Don't you worry Judy!" she began. "We'll get you cured," she continued as she started down the hall, following the group.

Oooooo

"Ms. Judy Martin," Mary Eunice started as she casually paced behind the desk in her new office. "Do you know why you're here?" she questioned, briefly pausing to watch and wait for her answer.

"You know damn well what I'm thinking," Jude hissed. She sat in the chair before what used to her desk. Her arms folded on her chest as she sternly watched her.

Everything that this nun was doing, it was everything that she had ever done. Worse though. At least, she told herself that it was worse. Never had she ever even imposed herself on Timothy. She never went around punishing those who didn't truly deserve it, well, most of them. There was Lana, but she did apologize to her. She truly thought that she was doing the right thing at the time. Mary Eunice, on the other hand, was just doing all of this for the sake of petty mockery.

This wasn't even Mary Eunice though, she had to keep that in mind. This was the devil. The Mary Eunice she knew would never even think of doing all of this. "I'm just sorry it has to be directed to someone that I used to adore," Jude added.

Mary Eunice clicked her tongue before turning and leaning on the desk. "You Judy, are a bad girl. You, were the whore, you were the drunk, and you were even the murderer. Why should I care about your adoration? Your opinion means nothing to me or anyone else in this building," she curtly informed her.

"Then why did you bring me here?" Jude inquired.

"Because, when patients get wound up, people get curious and ask questions," Mary Eunice answered, pushing herself up off the desk. "You should know that better than anyone. You used to run this place. You've over heard people talking. And when talking starts, rumors start. And we just can't have that. Not now, not while our beloved Monsignor is working towards Rome."

Jude shook her head, starting to smile. "You think I don't see through this little charade?" she asked, starting to laugh a little in spite of her. "You simply wanna kick me while I'm down. I know that because no one in their right mind believes a crazy person. People here shout out lies everyday and no one cares," she explained, dropping her arms and laying her hands on her lap.

Mary Eunice chuckled at the remark. "Listen, I was going to have Dr. Arden, help, free you from those nasty memories of your's. Help you move on, but I think maybe you need a clear head. You need to be able to fully comprehend everything that's going on around you," she insisted.

Jude suspiciously looked to her. "Why?"

"As long as you behave yourself and don't say a word to anyone, you don't have to worry about it," she answered.

"And what happens if I do?" Jude boldly tempted.

"Well then, I promise you that you will never talk again. You probably won't even be seen again," she explained.

Jude just looked at her, finding that she actually believed it. What surprised her though, was that she didn't care anymore. Everything had been taken away from her already, it didn't matter what she did to her. She could nearly kill her and it wouldn't do much. Life just didn't seem nearly as valuable once you were locked up here. "Trust me, you'll never see the end of me," she stated. Even if she didn't mind dying anymore, she sure as hell wasn't going to just let her ruin the place.

She was now protective of the people here, more so now than when she was in charge of the place. When she was in charge, she was protective of the place itself, the dream that Timothy cherished. Now, even though he didn't deserve to have this place work out for him, she wanted to make sure that the other patients didn't get hurt. She was the one who had to protect them from the devil that inhabited Mary Eunice.

"Believe me, a face like your's family-less, can get lost here very easily without anyone to ask any questions," she rebutted..

Mary Eunice hit a nerve, and she saw it. "Good," she said. "Now get back to bed," she ordered before heading over to the filing cabinet and shuffling through the folders. "I have a feeling you're going to need your strength for the next, oh, nine months," she nonchalantly mentioned.

Jude got up, just shrugging off the last statement. It wasn't until she got out into the hall that it hit her. Nine months. There was one thing that could take months. Her eyes widened. She was about to turn back, but Carl had her arm and was already leading her back to her cell. The only thought that comforted her, was the fact that she couldn't know yet. It allowed her to wave it off as more taunting. Just something to get a reaction out of her.

Oooooo

"_Forget your troubles, come on get happy. You better chase all your cares away. Shout hallelujah, come on get happy. Get ready for the judgement day. The sun is shining come on get happy. The Lord is waiting to take your hand. Shout hallelujah, come on get happy. We're going to the promise land." _

Mary Eunice walked through the darkened hall. She slightly recognized the place, but she didn't really know where it was. Her blonde hair hung loosely around her face, she was in her nightgown. Suddenly, the singing grew louder, it was a woman's voice, one that she knew very well.

At the end of the hall, she saw the light flooding out from the room to her right. Cautiously, she turned and entered.

In the room, she saw right before her, Jude. She was the one singing. She was dressed in a white gown, almost like a really plain wedding dress. Her curly blonde hair almost shimmering from the spotlight shining on her.

Jude stopped as soon as Mary Eunice stepped in the door. No words, just laughter. She was mocking her, taunting her.

"What is it?"

"You think you're going to the promise land?" Jude asked.

Mary Eunice just stood there for a moment, trying to come up with a reason why should be going to the promise land. She wanted to be able to confidently answer yes, that she was sure. She couldn't though. "It's not my fault," she muttered in a feeble attempt to earn any sort of a second chance, perhaps from pity.

Jude just shook her head. "Your little game here, it's not working," she told her. She motioned off to the side, pointing Mary Eunice's attention to the man walking into the light.

The man was revealed to the Monsignor. Timothy though, was not in his normal attire. He was in a black robe. His hands and feet were still in bandages. His eyes looked desolate as he caught eye contact with her.

Jude looked to the young girl. "You're ruined this man. You took the one thing that was important to him. You took it and you killed it, and now he has nothing," she explained.

"I didn't mean too!" Mary Eunice desperately argued.

"What? You fell on him? You're clothes dissolved in the process?" Jude questioned. "If I recall right, you, were the one that raped him."

Mary Eunice just stood there, watching the man that she had violated. "I'm sorry," she softly cried.

"Ha! Sorry?" Jude laughed. "What the hell is sorry going to do now? Give him back his virginity? I don't think so."

Jude just sighed and looked back to her right. "Next!" she called.

Mary Eunice looked up and watched as the next person came into the light. "I believe you remember Miss Lana Banana," she coldly introduced.

Lana came and stood beside Timothy. In her hand, she held a coat hanger, the fresh blood still dripping from its tip, the blood gathering on the ground and meeting with the puddle that had been gathering from the blood draining from between her legs. "You helped your sister get rid of an unwanted baby six months before her wedding," Lana flatly stated. "You helped her kill the child that was going to grow up and be one of the world's finest doctors. So many lives could have been saved by that baby, and you killed it. Then I come to you with the baby that is going to grow up to be a murderer, and you do everything you can to save it."

"I'm sorry! I didn't know what I was doing back then! And I didn't know who your baby was going to be!" Mary Eunice cried as she fell to her knees.

"I think it's quite clear as to why you can't join us in heaven someday. You were the one that ruined our lives. Now we get saved while you have to suffer, suffer the way you made us suffer," Jude announced.

Mary Eunice awoke in a cold sweat. Her eyes popped open as she tried her hardest to catch her breath.

A month had passed since she had raped Timothy. Since then, she had noticed that she had been coming out more and the devil had suddenly become more repressed. It scared her. She could feel him within her still, just more dormant, like he was waiting for something. Waiting to finally gain her trust and then fully take over her body.

Suddenly, she felt herself getting sick. She jumped up and ran over to the toilet. This wasn't the first time tonight. It also wasn't the first time that she had realized what was going on either. She knew. Ever since she had walked out of the Monsignor's room, she had felt it. That baby was there, and that baby was going to be more evil than anything she had ever known. It was already starting to take its toll on her.

Once she was done throwing up, she tried her hardest to get back to her feet. It was hard. She was weak as she sat there in the bathroom floor, waiting for the moment that her body would allow her the small amount of energy needed to get back to her bed. That was all she wanted right now.

Using all the strength she had, she gripped onto the toilet seat and forced herself up and then quickly grabbed the sink for support. She had to stand there a moment, staring at herself in the mirror as she washed her hands. It was like she was bound to that room. Her legs, even now, felt as if they were just about to give out on her.

She took a deep breath and with that, she turned and slowly started walking back to her bed in the Infirmary. Her vision, she noticed, was starting to really blur. The room was spinning. She couldn't stop though, she needed to get back to her bed.

Her body had started swaying. At the moment, she wasn't sure whether or not she was actually moving anymore. Her hand reached out and grabbed something. Maybe a bed rail? She couldn't focus in on it.

It didn't matter what she had. She was out within seconds. Her legs just collapsing beneath her, causing her to tumble to the ground. The darkness closing in on her as she stared up to the ceiling. Mary Eunice wanted to call out for help, but she couldn't speak. It was as if she had suddenly forgotten how to.


	3. Broken

**A/N**: _I believe this helped me get through my first post AHS Wednesday. Lol, I really don't have much to my life. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this. Let me know what you think._

_oooooo_

Chapter 3: Broken

Lana and Kit sat together on the couch out in the common room as Jude joined them, sitting in the chair. "What was all that noise I heard last night?" Lana asked. She had been expecting to hear one the most amusing stories ever. She had seen that Jude was trying to work against Mary Eunice, and personally enjoyed every moment of it.

Last night, Jude had had another fall out with the nun. As Mary Eunice had walked passed her room, she had managed to call her a whore, several times. She even yelled it down the hall. The odd thing, Mary Eunice didn't even respond to her. Nothing.

Jude smirked as she sat back and grabbed a cigarette. "I don't think our dear Sister Mary Eunice is going to be here much longer," she said before placing the cigarette in her mouth and lighting it. She started thinking about Mary Eunice again last night, thinking maybe that she was pregnant. She had been looking ill lately and had been acting different.

She may have mentioned it early on, but it was the devil, he had to have known right away, there had to have been a reason why that certain time was picked.

If she were right though, Jude wasn't sure how she felt about this. On one side, Mary Eunice would be out of here. There was no way that the Monsignor would allow her to stay in charge here, carrying his baby. Never. That was the good part, Sister horrid would be gone.

On the other hand, Jude felt bad for her. That girl did not deserve any of this. Mary Eunice had to have been the most innocent, sincere person that she had ever met. Even though Jude disagreed with Arthur on many levels, this was one thing that she understood. She too, valued her. She too needed her around, reminding her that there is good in the world. When she lost that, it was a huge blow to her. It left Jude with a more cynical view of everything.

"Why do ya say that?" Kit inquired. He wasn't really sure whether or not he bought into that little prediction. There was something about her, something that he found oddly stubborn, like a strength, a force that was going to keep her there. It was almost fate.

Jude blew the smoke back out into the surrounding air. "You'll see," she smugly answered.

"Does it have something to do with all that yelling last night?" Lana implored. She had been awoken last night, smiling as she stared up to ceiling, trying her hardest not to burst out in laughter and wake up the other half of the asylum. She may still have some ill feelings towards Jude, but she liked the new Jude, she had spunk. She was also going out of her way to try and right her wrongs. Even though part of her believed that Jude was getting what she deserved, well, most of it, some of it was too much at times, she had some respect for what she was trying to do.

Jude sighed, taking another drag of her cigarette. "You'll always be nosy won't you?" she asked.

"That's why I became a reporter," she responded.

"That's also how you end up in places like this. Once you get out of here, I'd be more careful if I were you," Jude warned. She was serious as she narrowed her eyes on Lana. She was sorry for what she had done to her, and she was going to get her out of this place. Not everyone was willing to right their wrongs. She could get into a situation like this again with someone worse than herself. Jude personally did not want that happening to Lana.

Any hint of amusement was suddenly torn was Lana's face. She was right. She could have ended up somewhere where the owner felt no remorse. It didn't really make her feel better about her current situation, but she would always remember that warning. Always.

Arthur came in, strolling through the room. Almost instantly, he caught eye contact with Jude. She glared to him, clearly restraining herself. He only returned a weary stare. He couldn't muster enough energy and motivation for the normal disputes that they had.

His purpose for being here right now was Jude. He wanted to talk to her. This conversation was about to be one of the hardest ones that he would ever have in his life time. It was unavoidable though. He was desperate, and she was one of the only people that he talk to now.

Arthur just stood there for a moment, gathering his thoughts before submissively lowering his head and forcing himself to walk over and join the group. "Jude," he began, standing there, nearly hovering over her.

Jude kept her eyes locked on him. "We both know that there is nothing to be said between us," she spat.

Arthur let out an exasperated sighed. He knew that she wasn't going to allow this to be easy for him. "May I please have a moment with you?" he requested. He looked to her, trying to gain some sort of trust.

Jude softly laughed, shaking her head. "I don't owe you the goddamn time of day," she replied. It was nice to see him suffer. After everything he had put her through, his pain was worth it.

"What if I told you you were right?" he quickly questioned. His patience was slipping, and he really did not want to lose his temper with Jude. He needed to be able to accomplish something today.

Jude glanced over to see Lana and Kit intently watching the two. She then looked back up to the doctor. "Do you really think that I'm going to fall for this again?" she inquired. "You come and tell me how you miss you're innocent little nun and how you need me to talk to her. Maybe the first time I was ignorant enough to feel some level of sympathy for you, but not now. Not anymore. After that trick you pulled, locking me in there with that murderer, I vowed to never listen to you," she explained.

"Please. I really would rather not discuss this in front of others," he harshly whispered.

"What? You're afraid that people might hear the truth? The real reason I'm here?" Jude responded. "The fact that you and Mary Eunice devised this plan to get me locked in an office with a killer who was about to violate me? The fact that I stabbed him in self defense and as soon as a weapon was inserted into that maniac's body that you two went and got the Monsignor? That you three worked to get me in here because I defended myself?" she asked, her voice gradually getting louder. "Yes, doctor, I can certainly see why you wouldn't want to talk about that," she sneered.

The doors to the common room opened, Mary Eunice marching in with her whistle. She stood still once she got a few yards into the room and blew the whistle. "Attention everyone!" she called.

Jude, Lana, and Kit all noticed that Mary Eunice seemed different. She was pale, and looked as if she had lost some weight. The energy was drained from her.

Arthur stood up and attempted to leave the room before she started talking. He knew what was going on with her, he had just taken the blood test. He was hurt, and he was betrayed.

"You might wanna hear this too doctor Arden!" she called to him.

Arthur stopped and turned around to her. The casual cheeriness in her voice went through him, piercing the already open wounds. "I highly doubt that sister. As a matter of fact, I never want to hear anything you have to say ever again," he bitterly announced before turning and continuing his exit.

Mary Eunice just stared. It was actually her that was starting to show through now. Something in his rejection woke part of her. She didn't know how to take it.

Jude noticed this little interaction and started piecing it together. He knew. It was true and he knew. He must have done the pregnancy test and gotten a positive result.

Jude watched as Mary Eunice just stood there, trying to form a coherent sentence, but only getting out small syllables that meant nothing. She was starting to wonder if this was the devil anymore.

"Excuse me," Mary Eunice finally said. She turned and hastened out of the room. She left an entire room of confused patients, only one concerned for her.

She hurried back to her room. She had to cry. She was hurt. Mary Eunice had officially chased away everyone that ever meant anything to her. Within the process of hurting others, she had been hurting herself.

Arthur had always been there for her. Always. When ever she was sick he made sure to treat her special. When ever she was tired, he would allow her to slack a little. He would bring her treats. He care for her, and she just watched him basically tell her that she meant nothing to him anymore.

The worst part of it all was that, he had every right to be mad. He knew about her and Timothy. He knew about the baby. He knew everything.

Sitting on the edge of her bed, she buried her face in her hands and wept. All the guilt was crushing her, making every conversation hard for her. Coming too was the most torturous thing she had even gone though in her life. It meant completely realizing everything you've done. It meant having to deal with the people that were hurt, the people hated her now. It meant dealing with the consequences that she shouldn't even have to face.

All of that along with the fact that she was pregnant and very emotional, made these moments of clarity even more treacherous for her.

As she calmed herself, she lifted her head and looked up at her own reflection in the mirror. Her tear stained face, red eyes, she started to wonder if this was what hell was like. All alone in the darkness, suffering from the pain of guilt. It had to be. To her, there could be nothing worse than this.

Oooooo

Jude stood outside the door to Arthur's office. She did not want to be there, but she did have to talk about Mary Eunice, and he was the one that could tell her about the current situation.

Trying to ready herself for the up coming conversation, she took a deep breath and then slowly knocked on the door. As soon as she heard him tell her to come in, she quickly pulled the door opened and stepped into the room.

Arthur sat at his desk, his chin resting on his folded hands as he stared out into space. He looked out of the corner of his eyes at Jude. "What is it?" he impatiently questioned.

Jude carefully closed the door behind her. "I've decided to talk to you," she informed him. "After I saw that little performance out there, I thought maybe you should tell someone what's going on," she offered as she wearily made her way over and sat down on the chair.

Arthur kept his eyes on her, wondering why the sudden change in attitude. "You're concerned for her aren't you?" he skeptically questioned. This brought sudden concern to his eyes.

"First, tell me why you're upset with her," Jude demanded. She had to know whether or not that she was right. If she was, she wasn't so sure what she could do to help her, but she was willing to do anything. She just had to know.

Arthur lifted his head and sat back in his chair. "What do you already know?" he inquired, wishing to save some time. Going back over everything just hurt him. The image of her walking out of the Monsignor's room, that smirk on her face cut right through him. Going in and seeing Timothy so upset, babbling on about how he should have been stronger. It was obvious to him what had happened. Then there was the test. He was able to collect some blood from Mary Eunice, and his fears were proven true. First being that she ha slept with someone else. Second, her innocence, her virtue, were completely gone. There wasn't even a trace left of the old Mary Eunice that he used to know and love.

"She told me what happened between her and the Monsignor," Jude flatly stated.

"She's pregnant," Arthur informed her. There was no use in saying anything more. One thing about Jude, he didn't have to go through the bull shit of explaining in detail what happened. She was just happy with knowing what was happening.

Jude nodded. She knew this much too, just didn't want to say anything that she wasn't sure of yet. She looked off to the side, sighing as she tried to think of what to do now. There were no easy answers. All she knew for sure was that the devil had made his home, and it was hurting everyone. No one wanted to see their precious Mary Eunice gone and in the hands of the devil.

"Now what?" he simply asked.

Jude turned her attention back to him, seeing how desperate he truly was at the moment. "I wish I knew," she admitted. "Did you try asking the Monsignor?"

"The answer I really want is whether or not we should abort it," Arthur explained.

Jude's eyes slightly widened with surprise. She did know that there could be no good with this baby, but she still didn't think that was the best idea. "I don't know," she replied.


	4. Tequila and Triple Sec

Chapter 4: Tequila and Triple Sec

"Do you know what you've done?" Jude yelled, slamming her cane down on to the desk.

Mary Eunice jumped at the loud smack. "I didn't mean to," she sobbed. The two were in Sister Jude's office, both wearing their habits.

"I don't you understand just the jeopardy you have out the world in!" Jude exclaimed, hitting the desk again with the cane. "You!" she stated, pointing to her as she walked to the closet.

Mary Eunice followed her with her eyes, watching as she opened the wardrobe that usually contained the canes. There wasn't canes in there anymore. There was just one single coat hanger.

"Know what you must do," Jude instructed as she grabbed the wire hanger and held it out, offering it to Mary Eunice.

Mary Eunice awoke in her room, panting. She quickly sat up, hugging her knees to her chest. She was six weeks pregnant.

The morning sun did its best to shine through the window into the gloomy room. Mary Eunice was never happier that it was morning. There was no way that she could get herself back to sleep at this point.

Over the past two weeks, she had seen Jude and Arthur talking. She knew that it was about her. She also knew what they wanted to do to the baby. As hard as it was for her, when she was herself, she was fine with it. When she wasn't herself though, she wasn't sure what would happen. She didn't want to hurt anyone that attempted to get rid of that... that thing inside of her. It wasn't a baby. That much, she had realized.

Sitting there, she realized, that it had to be her. It had to be her to get rid of that thing. She had to fight to keep control of herself and she had to kill it. She just had to figure out how to do it.

Oooooo

Jude stood in the bakery down in the basement. She sourly stared at the bread, wondering why this place has ever been started. This entire place was starting to show her every bad mistake that she had made here. The bakery, everything else. After getting over her little crush on Timothy, this place had really lost its charm.

"I can see why you wanna shut this place down," Jude mentioned to Lana who was standing across the table from her.

"Good," Lana dryly replied.

Jude just briefly looked up to her. She deserved that. "I'll get you out of here," she promised. That truly was at the top of her list. She had just been talking to Sister Claudia about meeting up with her later.

"I've heard that before," Lana flatly stated.

Jude was about to ask questions, but decided to just leave it alone. All she knew was that Lana had gone missing for a while and then that she came back after a car accident. That was all. Other than that, she had been keeping everything to herself. Although, if Jude didn't know any better, she kind of looked like she was going through the same thing that Mary Eunice was going through.

"Ms. Martin?"

Jude turned back and saw sister Rose coming up behind her. "You're wanted in Doctor Arden's office," she informed her.

Jude sighed as she lifted her powered covered hands from the dough. "All right," she gave in and followed the nun.

Lana just stood there, carefully watching. Jude had been going to talk to Arden a lot lately, she noted. She was starting to wonder what was going on and whether or not it had something to do with Mary Eunice and Arthur's little exchange a couple weeks ago.

Oooooo

Mary Eunice stepped into her room and quickly made sure to lock the door behind her. She set her things down on her bed, removing her coat from a regular powder blue dress with her hair back in a bun, covered by a matching scarf. There was no way that she could go where she was going in her habit. She also couldn't do what she was about to do dressed as a nun either.

The young girl took her bag over to the dresser and pulled out its contents: tequila, triple sec, a lime, and a bottle of drano.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and silently prayed for forgiveness. It wasn't like this was so much worse than anything else she had done lately. She just needed the forgiveness. She needed to be able to calm herself.

She opened her eyes, sighing. Before she touched anything, she removed her scarf and grabbed a glass that she had taken from the kitchen, placing it with the bottles.

"All right," she whispered to herself. "A half cup for every two weeks," she told herself as she opened the drano. She wasn't able to measure it as accurately as she would have wanted to, but to her, it was enough. Perhaps, more than she needed.

Next, was the alcohol. One part each. Never having really mixed a drink before, Mary Eunice wasn't too sure of what this meant. So, she just poured both in until it looked right.

Finally, she took a knife and cut the lime in half. Individually, she took each half and squeezed as much juice into the cup as she could get from the fruit.

Subconsciously, her hand rested on her abdomen as she stirred the drink with her knife. Even though she had resorted to calling the baby, the thing, she still felt bad. It was still her's.

"You have to do something to help everyone you've hurt," she softly told herself before tossing her head back and forcing the drink down her throat. The alcohol burned, but she ignored it, forcing herself to keep from gagging.

Oooooo

"I think we should get rid of Sister Mary Eunice," Arthur suggested. He stood in the middle of Timothy's office. He figured that maybe he could get him to listen to him this time, given the events that have taken place.

Timothy looked up to him, thinking back on his last encounter with the nun. There was pain in his eyes. "Why do you say that?" he asked, more as a formality. He agreed. He just didn't want to have to faec her again, even see her after what had happened.

He had seen her though. Right after this little incident, he attempted to perform an exorcism. It failed. That was when his fear over came him. He couldn't defeat what ever had taken the young girl over, and he knew that if it wanted, it could take him too. He was a coward. That much, he would admit to himself.

There was shame, and there was regret. Fear overpowered both of those though. When one's life is on the line, it's surprising how many values and morals one can easily drop in a heartbeat.

"This new position appears to be causing her some unneeded stress. I don't think she can handle it for too much longer, it has already begun to alter her personality," Arthur explained. He had to find something better to say than just telling him that she was hurting him, tearing away from the one thing that he desperately needed in his life.

Timothy absently nodded. "I'll think about it," he responded. He needed to get rid of her too, she was the one slowly tearing everyone down, and he was just now starting to notice it.

oooooo

"Oh Judy!" Mary Eunice yelled down the hall. It was lights out for the patients, but she decided that she needed to see one patient before she went to sleep. "I gotta talk to you about something!" she cheerfully announced, causing an echo.

Jude sighed as she sat in the edge of her bed. She knew what was coming and figured that she might as well prepare herself for it.

Jude stood up and headed to the door. "What is it?" she casually questioned, peeking out through the window. The sooner she got this over with, the better.

Mary Eunice stumbled as she approached the cell door. She proceeded to clumsily go through her keys.

Jude just watched, growing more and more concerned. "You're drunk," she accused.

"Whoo!" she cheered as she got the right key. Mary Eunice then entered the room and plopped down on the bed. "Did you know that I've never gotten drunk before?" she inquired, beginning to laugh.

Jude just stood there before the doorway, looking to her, trying to figure out what was going on here. It wasn't like Mary Eunice to drink. It wasn't like the devil to get drunk either, at least, not from what she had seen so far.

"Tequila and triple sec. That's what I had. Tequila and triple sec," Mary Eunice happily confirmed.

"What's going on with you?" Jude implored, suspiciously eyeing her. She was trying to figure out exactly who she was talking to. Most likely, it was the devil, but she couldn't be certain at this point.

Mary Eunice held her hand up as she took a moment to laugh, shaking her head. "It's actually really amusing," she began. "You see, this girl," she said, briefly pointing to herself. "Thought that she could get rid of me with a mere drink."

"You didn't!" Jude anxiously argued, hoping that she hadn't tried what she was thinking. That was when it had hit her what was going on, an attempt on self abortion and the devil was laughing was laughing about it.

It also revealed something more important though, the devil had referred to the baby as himself. That baby she was carrying, was going to be the human form of the devil. He was going to live inside that child.

Mary Eunice started to laugh even harder. Almost instantly though, the laughter stopped, leaving Mary Eunice to just blankly stare. Her hand went and grabbed onto her belly. Nervously, her eyes flickered over to Jude.

"Ow!" the young girl cried. She doubled over, her free hand clenching onto the edge of the bed.

Jude nervously watched her for a second. This couldn't be the devil anymore. The fear in her eyes, the sudden concern. No matter how tricky the devil, she could always tell when it was Mary Eunice.

Jude went to her aid. "Come on," she urged. She grabbed Mary Eunice's arms and helped her to her feet. "We've gotta get you some help," she explained to a now crying Mary Eunice.

Mary Eunice was now just starting to come too. It was just in time to feel that something was wrong, terribly wrong. She felt as though her insides were getting torn.

Jude held on to Mary Eunice's shoulders, guiding her down the hall. "You're gonna be all right," she soothed.

Mary Eunice fell to her knees, clutching her stomach as she started to vomit. Jude grabbed the keys from her without thinking and hurried to Lana's cell and opened the door.

"What's going on out there?" Lana groggily implored from her bed.

"Just go get Doctor Arden!" Jude demanded, sounding more like she did when she was in charge of the place.

"Why?" Lana questioned, although Mary Eunice's crying had become more audible.

"Just go!"

Lana threw the covers off and headed out the door. Out in the hall, she saw Mary Eunice practically falling apart at the seams. Never before had she felt such an odd combination of pleasure and sympathy. She felt bad for her, she was in pain and obviously scared. On the other hand, she deserved it. After she let Oliver go, she decided that this was the worst woman in the world.

"Go!" Jude barked as she came up behind her.

Lana watched as she joined Mary Eunice, kneeling beside her, trying to keep her calm. She then hurried off towards Arthur's office. On her way there, she tried to figure out how Jude could just be nice to her like that. After everything that Mary Eunice had done to her, she still goes to help her. No apology, nothing.

Oooooo

Mary Eunice's eyes fluttered open, allowing her to see that she was in the Infirmary. It took her a minute, but she remembered what occurred last night. The drinking, going to talk to Jude, all of it.

As she sat up, she realized how sore she really was. It made her wonder how much she had really thrown up last night.

"Hung over?" Lana inquired.

Mary Eunice looked over and saw her sitting in the bed next to her's. "I'm fine," she answered, stiffening. She knew that Lana was sore at her, and she wasn't in the mood to deal with it. Right now her biggest concern was whether or not some of that soreness was from miscarrying.

"Why did you start drinking? Was it the only way to cope with the guilt?" Lana poisonously quipped.

Mary Eunice just sat there, staring down to her lap. She didn't want Lana to see the water forming in her eyes. Truth was, she did feel a little hung over, and it seemed to bring extra guilt with it.

As she was staring down, she caught glimpse of her ring. It used to be something that she was proud to wear. It used to symbolize who she was, and what she stood for. Now, it reminded her of the vows she broke. It reminded her that she could never go back to the way that she was.

She had to make up for what she had done. She had to find a way to fix the damage. It was never going to be completely all right, there were things that she couldn't fix, but she had to try to do something to make up for it all.

There was one thing she had to do before she could do anything else though. Lifting her head back up, Mary Eunice sniffled, raising her left hand. Carefully, almost as if she was afraid someone was going to catch her in the act, she slid the ring off her finger and held it up, studying it. As much as she loved what that ring stood for, she couldn't care to wear it at the moment. With a quick kiss, she said good bye to her ring and set it on the table beside her, making a note to herself to take it to her room later and put it away for now.

Lana sat and watched as the nun did this. Ever since she had arrived with her bout of morning sickness earlier that morning, she had been looking over to see what was going on with her. Now, she was starting to wonder if she truly did feel some remorse.


	5. Twisted

Chapter 5: Twisted

Mary Eunice and Lana both laid there in their beds in the Infirmary. At the moment, Mary Eunice was enjoying her stay here. It kept her from interaction with others. It also gave her a chance to just ly there, and try to figure out what to do next.

She had to get rid of that baby, that much she knew for sure. Right now, something told her that the baby had survived the drink. There was no way of her knowing for sure at the moment, but she could feel it. That baby was still there, residing within her.

Mary Eunice began to watch Lana, recalling how she had attempted to get rid of her baby. A dirty old coat hanger. "Ms. Winters?" she called over to her. She knew that there was no way that she could ever get away with calling her Lana.

Lana just looked to her, annoyed that she even had the nerve to talk to her.

Mary Eunice was waiting for her to say something, but figured out that that was not going to happen. "Did you really try to use a coat hanger?" she nervously questioned. She tried to remain somewhat authoritative, but the more that she laid here, the more that she realized that she was never meant to be in charge of anyone. Ever.

Lana shot her a look of disgust. "You know damn well I did," she snapped. She had figured that the girl was just trying to taunt her.

Mary Eunice sighed. "I'm just wondering why it didn't work for you. It's supposed to work," she explained.

Not with Lana's luck, no. "Why do you care?" she bitterly implored. It wasn't enough that she was still pregnant? Now she had to sit here and listen to a psycho nun tell her how it should have worked? Was she really just about to call her stupid? Maybe ask her if she stuck it in the right place? She didn't need this right now.

"I was just curious," she flatly responded. She really wanted to avoid Lana thinking too much of her line of questioning. The last thing she needed was a rumor started about her, and she knew that the patients here were all against her. Any ill word said about her would spread like wild fire.

"No you weren't," Lana argued. "You just wanted to remind me who won here. You told me that I was going to have this baby, and here we are, I'm three months pregnant and you're trying to figure out what I did wrong."

Mary Eunice gave up on her questions. She would just have to figure it out on her own. "I have things I have to do," she softly stated, rushing to get out of bed.

Lana sat there and started thinking, wondering why she was asking her about the coat hanger all the sudden. Even though she was quick to get defensive, Mary Eunice sounded awful sincere when she was telling her that it wasn't to taunt her. She wanted something very specific, but was stumbling around as she tried to find the most evasive way of getting it.

Her eyes widened as she thought back to last night. While returning with Arthur, she heard Jude saying something to Mary Eunice, asking her where she hid the drano. They were trying to keep it quiet, but she was right there, standing there for a moment as Arthur grabbed Mary Eunice, asking her how much she drank. Jude telling him that she would go sit with her while he checked her office because she could no longer get past security.

"That hypocrite," Lana quietly gasped to herself upon the realization. Mary Eunice was in trouble herself. She was looking for a way to get rid of it. After that speech of how Lana was supposed to sit here and have this, this result of violation, here she was planning to do as she please.

"Where do you think you're going?" Arthur questioned, stopping Mary Eunice.

The young girl looked to him, eyes full regret. "I'm better now, I promise. I, I just need to get back to my room. You can come with me and take the bottles away if you want. Just please let me go back," she nearly begged.

He saw something in her eyes that he had not seen in a while. Something that he had been missing. It was a glimmer of the old Mary Eunice. He had felt that he was never going to see that again, and was grateful he did. "All right. Just promise me you'll stay there for the rest of the day," he instructed.

Mary Eunice anxiously nodded, a smile coming across her face. Not the evil smile that had recently occupied it, but a genuine one. One that she used to bare. She quickly thanked him before heading off towards her room.

Arthur turned and watched her, hoping that she was going to be okay. He and Jude had already searched through her room, clearing out the alcohol and any cleaning products. He may have been upset with her before, but not nearly enough to let her almost kill herself.

Last night, he and Jude had agreed that they would wait on telling her that they were wanting to get rid of the baby. It wasn't because they didn't think she would let them, after her little show, they both saw how impatient she was to get rid of it. Arthur just didn't know if her body was strong enough to handle anything right now. He would have to wait until she would be able to heal. That would take at least a couple of weeks.

He didn't tell either of the women how bad off Mary Eunice really was. She lived, and that was all that mattered, she was going to be just fine. He had to make sure that she had gotten all the contents out of her, all of them. She also had an ulcer that could have gotten out of hand, but it didn't. He had been watching her all night.

The most he had told Mary Eunice was that he was going to have to watch her diet and that she would have some discomfort over the next few days. He felt like she was too fragile right now to handle the fact that she nearly killed herself. Even worse, he didn't know if she could handle hearing the fact that she was still pregnant. It baffled him, how that baby could survive her poisoning herself like that. Most times, the baby would have been dead instantly.

That was something he had to tell her though, and as soon as possible. The doctor glanced down at his watch and decided to force himself to go to her room and finally let her know.

Oooooo

Jude sat in the common room, just blankly staring. She had heard that the Monsignor was planning on getting rid of Mary Eunice, sending her somewhere else. As great as it was to get out of this place, she didn't know if she wanted her to leave.

Lately, Mary Eunice had been coming to her. She had grown to trust her and Arthur. With everything that she had been going through, Jude wasn't so sure that she would ever find anyone out there that would understand. She was scared for her.

As soon as she saw Arthur, she was going to have to get him to talk to Timothy, get him to change his mind.

Oooooo

Arthur made his way to Mary Eunice's room and knocked on the door.

"It's open!" Mary Eunice called. She sat up in bed and pulled the covers up over her shoulders as she awaited the guest. As soon as she saw it was Arthur, she felt a hint of dread. The frown on his face as he prepared to tell her the bad news. She already knew what was coming.

"Now Sister," he began, closing the door behind him. His head lowered as he stepped towards her bed, his hands clasped behind his back as he gathered his words.

He looked up, seeing the disappointment on the young girl's face. Her eyes lowering to her lap, her hand resting on her belly. "It's still there," she quietly continued for him.

"Yes," he confirmened..

Mary Eunice just nodded. "I know," she said. She bit her lip, trying to hide the fact that she was completely desperate to get rid of that thing. It was obvious by now that she didn't want, but she didn't want him knowing how badly she wanted to get rid of it. She didn't need anyone closely watching her.

"Doctor Arden? Do you mind if I have a few minutes alone?" she politely requested.

Arthur just nodded. "Of Course. I'll be back to check on you in a few hours," he told her.

Mary Eunice kept her eyes on him until he closed the door behind him on his way out the room. As soon as she was alone, she quickly went over to her closet and pulled out a dress. She took the dress and folded it, setting it neatly on her bed. She then went back for the most important item, the hanger. This was going to be harder than the drink. This was scarier, she noted as she slowly walked over to the edge of the room, her back against the wall.

Mary Eunice carefully studied the hanger as she untwisted the wire. There were tears forming in her eyes, but she had force them back, she couldn't afford to be crying right now. It was too important that she got this right the first time.

Taking a deep breath, she did the sign of the cross before leaning back against the wall and sliding down to the ground. The first thing she did was remove her underwear, and toss it further away, making sure that no blood would stain it. She then made sure that her nightgown was up high enough so that it wouldn't sit in any of the blood.

Now, it was time to position herself, spreading her legs. Before she even considered sticking the wire inside her, she took her finger and slowly went in, making sure that she knew where to to go. Extra blood from cuts, was the last thing that she needed.

Pulling her finger out, she gripped onto the hanger, trying to steady her shaky hand. With hesitance, she slowly placed the wire between her legs. It took a minute, but she finally forced herself to insert the wire.

She winced at first, feeling the cold metal sliding inside her. Suddenly, she stabbed something, causing her whole body to tense from the sharp pain. Her head went back, eyes tightly closed shut, with her free hand gripping onto the end of her gown.

Badly, she wanted to rip the wire right out, but she couldn't. She wasn't sure that baby was dead. She had to keep going, she had to keep stabbing. The pain grew more intense. Maybe she was doing this wrong, she briefly considered. As long as she got the baby though, she was fine.

As soon as she felt the warm puddle of blood forming around her, she slowly pulled the disfigured hanger out and allowed herself to try and relax. It was over now, hopefully, all over.

Oooooo

"Do you know that Timothy is considering getting rid of Mary Eunice?" Jude angrily questioned as she rushed into Arthur's office, not even bothering to knock. She had grown tired of waiting to see him in the common room.

Arthur looked up from his paper work. "I thought you were aware of everything that had gone on between the two," he casually stated. Really, he wasn't sure that he wanted her to leave now either. Ever since he had seen that little bit of her old self, he became instantly attached to her once more. "It doesn't surprise me that he would consider it."

"Well aren't you going to do something about it?" she was quick to question. "That young lady needs time! She needs us! If she gets sent out there, she's going to be all alone, and I can't have that!" Jude desperately explained, pacing through out the room. She had been getting herself more and more worked up on her walk to his office.

Arthur sighed as he stood. He knew that this was partially his fault. He had been planning on going and talking to Timothy again, but only if Mary Eunice remained her old self. He couldn't handle this back and forth game with her.

Jude stopped and looked to him, wondering whether or not she could trust him. He had been good so far, but she was still always going to wonder about him. The only reason why she had only sort of trust right now, was because this concerned Mary Eunice. He had feelings for her and it was obvious.

"All right," Jude said. "I just don't want her leaving before she's ready. The last thing I want is for that girl to get hurt more than she already has been."

"I know," Arthur dryly replied. He too now, felt the same way.

Oooooo

Mary Eunice stood in front of her mirror, buttoning up her habit over the red slip that she had stolen from Jude. She was going to need it.

As soon as she was in uniform, she stepped out the door, checking to make sure she was alone before heading down to the office that she had given to Oliver when she had hired him.

"Oliver!" she called, almost singing, as she opened the door.

Oliver looked up from his desk, Kit, who was sitting before him, turned back and saw the nun seductively leaning against the doorframe.

"I need a favor. I have to teach someone a lesson," Mary Eunice explained.

Oliver let an uncomfortable laugh. He then looked to Kit. "Mr. Walker? I think I need a moment alone with Sister Mary Eunice here," he instructed.

"Yeah, sure," Kit obliged. Really, he was happy to finally get out of that room. Oliver was trying to get the location of the confession tape out of him. He kept his eyes on Mary Eunice though, wondering what was about to happen in here.

Mary Eunice watched Kit as he walked past her, and slapped his butt.

"Hey!" Kit snapped. He stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face her. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Mary Eunice stood up, crossing her arms as she smirked to him. "Don't make me find Jude's old canes to use," she threatened.

Kit glared between Mary Eunice, and Oliver, who was doing nothing at all, and then headed out of the room. Now, he wasn't sure he cared what happened in that room. He was just mad that she felt she could do that.

Mary Eunice peaked down the hall, watching him walk. "Good, he's gone," she announced before closing the door and making her way to the desk. She leaned on the desk, closing the space between them. "Now, I need to talk to you," she told him.

Oliver was nervous, he knew what she was thinking. He didn't want to be the one to do it with her. He was focused completely on Lana. He had no time to be getting distracted by these silly things. He didn't need to have his thoughts clouded by the trivial. "Sister, do you think you seek this from someone else?" he requested.

Mary Eunice smiled. "Well, you see, this dumb bitch you see before you, is really, not that bright," she started. "When one believes that they have full control, they have to be put in their place, be taught a lesson," she informed him.

Oliver just sat back and wondered why he was being told this. Or even, what he was being told. "I was under the impression that I earned this job on my credit, rather than my looks," he stated.

Mary Eunice laughed, standing up from the desk. "Of course you were silly. You're bloodyface! How could you not be hired based on your credibility. I need you here!" she explained to him. She then walked around the desk and hiked up her skirt as she took a seat on his lap. "I just need something else from you tonight," she said before leaning in and kissing him on the lips.

Oliver did not want to do this, but at the same time, he didn't fight her. It was as if, he didn't have much of a choice. Without even thinking about it, his hand started sliding up her thigh. He could feel the edge of her lacy slip with his finger tips.

Mary Eunice pulled away, delighted that he was going along with this. She knew he would. Smiling to him as she slowly unbuttoned her habit, revealing the red slip to him. "We can do what ever you would like," she offered, knowing exactly what they would be doing.

Oliver smiled, not knowing exactly how to approach this. He knew that he was awkward when it came to these sort of things. This, being no exception. For some reason though, he felt instantly comfortable with her. As if, his own insecurities in this area did not matter. He was going to be good enough for her, simply because he was who he was. To him, that meant more than anything.

Oooooo

Mary Eunice stumbled out of the room. Her eyes glazed over as she closed the door behind her. She was sick to her stomach, her face drained of most its color. It hurt.

Emotionally, and physically, the act had hurt her. She was sure that she had bled. She had to of, the cuts and gashes from earlier felt freshly torn as she went down on him. He didn't seem to notice, or he if he did, he just didn't care.

At the same time, she felt guilty. She was pregnant with Timothy's baby, and here she is fooling around with this evil being. She was fooling around with the man that had raped one of the patients here.

The worst part of all of this? It was all just a sick gesture to prove to her that she still could never be completely in charge of her own body. The Devil, even though dormant at this point, was still there. She was trying to get rid of the creature inside of her, and she got punished for it.

Mary Eunice leaned back against the wall and slid down to the floor, hugging her knees to her chest. Her head went down, resting on her knees. She wasn't crying this time. It was like she was numb. It didn't matter anymore, like she had just given up on everything. There was no use in trying to fight the losing battle.

Why fight? Why constantly feel bad for things she couldn't control? Why try to do the right thing when it's only going to come back to kick you?

She had given up, she would never be the person she wanted to be. She was bound to be evil. No matter how much she fought it, she had to accept her fate.

Lana walked down the hall, a smile on her face. She was leaving tomorrow. Jude came through with her promise, and she got to leave.

As she walked though, she spotted Mary Eunice. At first, she didn't know it was her. All she saw was the veil and a small bit of bright blonde hair. "Are you all right?" she implored, stopping before her.

Mary Eunice heard the voice and instantly wanted her to leave. This wasn't the time to be putting another guilt trip on her, she didn't need it. She was doing fine all on her own.

"Ma'am?" Lana asked again, this time kneeling down before her.

Mary Eunice sighed before slowly lifting her head. No words. She just painfully watched as Lana quickly stood up, looking to her with disgust.

"You wanted to know how to use a coat hanger," she instantly accused. That was the question she had been wondering about practically all day. "Didn't you?"

Mary Eunice just looked to her with shame and regret. Why say anything? It wouldn't help the situation. The most she was interested in was getting this over with. As far as she was concerned, she deserved everything she was about to hear anyways.

"You're a hypocrite!" Lana spat. "You sit there telling us how we're supposed to live and here you are trying to figure out how to help yourself! Cover up your wrongs!"

Lana calmed herself. "One day, everyone is going to see through you. I'm not sure why Jude is treating you so well. You've fried her brain, gotten her locked up in here and never, never once have you apologized. You know, that's the real difference between you two. She's willing to step up and admit when she's wrong and make up for it. You on the other hand walk around claiming to be holier than thou breaking every single one of your own rules while expecting us to turn our heads and follow you blindly."

Lana just paused and sighed. "You're a hypocrite. You're a sadist bitch and a hypocrite," she stated.

"You're right," Mary Eunice muttered. The numbness had faded. The tears started once again, forming in her eyes.

The remark caught Lana off guard. She had been prepared to argue with her. Instead, she just stood there, waiting for her next words.

Those words never actually came though. "Excuse me," was the last thing Mary Eunice said to her before she stood up and started down the hall.

Lana just watched with disbelief as she walked away from her. Suddenly, she noticed that she was leaving small marks on the ground. Small, red marks. She followed the trail with her eyes, leading to a small puddle of blood where she had been seated. "She already did it," she gasped to herself.

Oooooo

"I can't do this anymore," Mary Eunice cried.

Jude woke from her sleep and turned over to see Mary Eunice standing in the middle of her room, her face all red from crying, yet no tears present. She must have just stopped. "What happened?" she nervously asked, sitting up in her bed.

Mary Eunice just shook her head. "I'm scared," she admitted. She didn't feel right talking about it yet. She also didn't want to tell her what she had done earlier either.

Jude nodded. "Come here," she instructed. She knew that something had happened. It didn't really matter what. All that mattered was the fact that it hurt Mary Eunice.

Mary Eunice went and joined her on the bed. "I didn't mean to," she choked.

"I know," Jude responded. "I just want you to know that no matter what, as long as it isn't really you, you have nothing to feel bad about. This isn't all your fault, okay?" she explained. If there was one thing this girl could use right now, Jude knew it was a clearer conscious.

Mary Eunice just looked to her. It was nice of her to say, but she wasn't sure how honest it was. She was always going to feel bad. It was still technically her doing all of these things, well her body. Everyone would remember it as her doing them.

Jude offered a smile. She could see that she was still pretty shook up and needed to just not be alone tonight. "Tell you what. How about you stay here for tonight? Huh? You can have the bed. That way if anything happens, I'm here," she offered. She already dreaded the long night ahead of her, one that she would most likely spend sitting on the floor against the wall, but, sh also knew that Mary Eunice was pregnant and abused. Besides, she couldn't just kick her out of the room.

"Is that allowed? Can you do that?" she inquired, instantly feeling a little stupid since she ran the place.

"Ha! I'm insane, remember? I can do whatever the hell I want," Jude informed her. That was on eof the only perks, you could do just about anything and not be questioned over and over again about it. She then stood to her feet. "Now lay down," she ordered.

Mary Eunice didn't really want to go to sleep now, but she figured that she had better listen to Jude. She laid down, and Jude proceeded to cover her with the blankets.

"Now just try to relax. It's not good for a girl in your condition to be getting herself wound up," Jude stated.

"Thank you," Mary Eunice said. She smiled to herself, remembering that there were at least two people here that did care.


	6. Not Murder

Chapter 6: Not Murder

Mary Eunice sat in a daze. She sat back in the chair to her desk. A month had passed since her last attempt at aborting the baby, the coat hanger attempt.

She was feverish as she ran her hand over the tiny bump beginning to form on her belly. She herself has lost weight, that was the only reason that the bump was slightly noticeable, because she was so small.

The thought that had been constantly going through her head was: I shouldn't be here. She knew that arthur had been talking to Timothy, trying to get her out of here. Then Jude talked to him and now she's staying. It wasn't only that though, Timothy's main deciding factor was that with the attention that Lana had brought to the place, he didn't the young nun going out there and blabbing about what happened between them.

She wanted out of there before Timothy actually found out what was going on with her, the baby. She wanted out of there so that she could stop wondering the halls feeling like the life was being sucked out of her. She wanted to get out of here and move on with her life.

At the same time, she was glad that she was still here. She needed Jude and Arthur. She needed those two to be able to have people to talk to. Right now, she needed that more than ever. She was still in charge and there were people out there, people that she had no idea who they were and they didn't know her, that were asking her about this place. She just couldn't take this stress anymore.

She took it though. Not because anyone had forced her. She could have given up her position as head of Briarcliff. She probably should have. No. The reason she allowed herself under all of this stress was because she felt that to some degree, she deserved it. She had killed three people, and that was the number that she remembered. There could have been more. There was also the rape.

There had to be some way to pay for all of this. If sitting behind a desk, hearing about all the rumors and having to hide from the Monsignor while everyone outside the doors were mad, then to her, that wasn't nearly enough.

Mary Eunice suddenly felt light headed. Most likely because of lack of food, lack of sleep, or both. She folded her arms on the surface of the desk and used them as a pillow. Her head rested face down in her arms.

Mary Eunice opened her eyes to see that she was no longer in her office. Instead she was in her old bedroom at home. The bottom bunk. Carefully, she forced herself to sit up and look around at the place she used to sleep. The dresser, the other bunk bed, it was all still there and crammed into the small room.

The one thing that was different, was the fact that it was silent. She seemed to be alone in the house. With eight brothers and sisters, it was hard to ever be alone. As a matter of fact, she couldn't recall a time that she ever was in that place.

With trepidation, she got out from under the covers and stepped down onto the cold hard wood floor. Somehow, the place looked even more bleak now. The sun trying as hard as it could to get through the dust covered windows, tinting the room in gray tones. It was cold, cold enough to send a chill down her spine as she made her way to the door.

On the other side of the door, was a bare hallway with only one door, one that was directly across from her. She carefully approached it, and opened it.

"Mary Eunice!" Jude snapped. She was in red slip, getting ready to go down on a man.

The young girl slightly jumped back, watching the scene before her. The older nun on her knees over a man on the bed that her parents slept on at night. It was when the man sat up, she saw that it was Timothy. No expression to his face as he watched her. Both of them, just staring at her as they waited for her to close the door and leave.

Even though she had done the same thing with the man, the image of those two getting ready to do it greatly disturbed her. It was worse. Like she was being shown what it looked like, the total perversion now visible to her.

She slammed the door closed and ran down the hall. Before a door appeared, she had to stop. There was a sharp pain that shot through her abdomen. The smell of blood mixed with something sweet filled the air. She felt the warm, thick liquid running down her inner thighs.

Mary Eunice fell to the ground as the door opened before her. A little girl, about three years old, stepped out and smiled to her. Light blonde hair framing her innocent face, the same face as her mother's.

Mary Eunice didn't have to look long to guess who she was. She knew. She could see it in her eyes. She gasped, reaching out to touch her face, gently stroke her cheek.

The child's smile faded. "Why did you kill me mommy?"

Mary Eunice quickly retracted her hand. "I didn't," she argued. The pain increased, momentarily distracting her. Her eyes tightly closed as she tried to get through the pain, let it pass. Eventually, it did, but when she opened her eyes, the little girl before her now had blood all over her.

"Yes you did mommy," she stated. "Why did you do it mommy? I never did anything to you!" the little girl implored, beginning to cry.

Mary Eunice looked to her, full of guilt. "I'm sorry!" she cried. "I didn't want you to live a life constantly possessed, constantly doing evil, never knowing love," she explained.

Mary Eunice was about to reach out and hug the girl, but she felt a hand on her shoulder. She jumped and quickly looked over her shoulder, seeing Jude standing there in all black, sternly watching her. In her other hand, a knife.

"No," Mary Eunice pleaded. "I can't."

Jude just sighed and forced the knife handle into her hand and pointed to the child. "Please! No! I can't!" she cried. "I just can't!"

"But mommy, you said you needed to," the little girl informed her.

"No!" Mary Eunice begged. "No more! No more!"

Mary Eunice awoke with a jump. She was finally back at her desk. It wasn't a great comfort though to remember where she was, or to discover that she had been sleeping in a small puddle of her own blood.

The blood was on the desk where her head had been resting. Just to confirm her thoughts, she lifted her hand to the space right under her nose. That was the source of the blood, a nose bleed. For a moment, she just stared at the blood on the tips of her fingers. Normally, she would have been concerned, but at the moment, she was indifferent. She snapped back to reality and got up to gather tissue to clean up the mess.

Oooooo

Jude had been taken off to solitaire after she had a small run in with the Monsignor. She sat there in the room, wondering if this was all really worth it anymore. Everything that she was doing, really go her no where. It didn't mean anything when she would yell at the guards. It meant nothing when she called Timothy out on his wrong doings. All she could do anymore is sit back and observe.

Lana and Kit were gone now, moving on with their lives. Those were two people that she would talk to. Although, her and Pepper had become quite close. She was also starting to talk more with the other patients there.

There were probably three things keeping her alive right now. The first being, she wanted to see Lana take this place down and ruin Timothy's name. If she could see him not able to become Cardinal, then she would be happy. It was petty, but it was true. First though, she would have to get Mary Eunice to give up her position. She had been trying to do that for a couple weeks now, but the woman just would not step down, saying that she deserved what ever was coming to her.

That was the second thing that she was staying alive for, Mary Eunice. Her and Arthur were still taking care of her, still trying to make her feel better about all of this. When they had both noticed that she started refusing to eat, Arthur started taking her out to dinner, trying to get something that she just could not refuse. Which, he did get her to start eating a little. Jude was glad to hear that. She needed to know that she was going to be okay.

The final thing, was the other patients. She had started becoming some what of a leader to them. Everyone there listened to her. She wouldn't boss them around or anything, but she would let them know when they shouldn't listen and when they should. She would try to keep their spirits up when ever things got real bad. Somehow, she felt her dying would be too selfish. They needed her.

Jude was brought back to reality as soon as the door opened, with Mary Eunice coming into the room. "There's already rumors out about us," Jude mentioned as she watched Mary Eunice almost close the door behind her, only leaving open a small crack.

Mary Eunice quickly turned back to her. "I'm sorry."

Jude shrugged. "I'm insane remember?" she questioned, still a bitter undertone to it. It wasn't directed right at Mary Eunice. "You, on the other hand should worry though. If your position as head of Briarcliff really means that much to you, I would try to avoid any rumors," she offered.

Mary Eunice sighed, sitting down on the ground beside Jude. "I don't think it really matters any more," she confessed. "I just realized that no matter what I do, I'm going to have to pay for everything."

Jude nodded. "We all do eventually," she stated. If anyone knew about payback, it was her. It hit her, and it hit her hard.

"I'm going to resign," Mary Eunice told her. "I'm going to step down and I'm going to leave the Church."

Jude just looked to her, shocked that she was even thinking about leaving the Church. Ever since she had known her, she had always heard Mary Eunice talk of how she only wanted to be a nun. There was nothing else out there for her. "You don't have to leave the Church," Jude explained. "You're fighting the Devil. Not many people could do that. Really, you should be celebrated for being able to over come what you're going through."

Mary Eunice shook her head. "No. I, I tried to kill my own baby twice. The first with the drink and then with a coat hanger," she confessed.

"It's evil."

Mary Eunice shook her head. "No, it has evil in it. How do we know that we can't perform an exorcism? How do we know that this child has to grow up evil?" she desperately implored.

Her most recent dream had her thinking, worrying, that she was doing the wrong thing by trying to get rid of the baby. Maybe she could just get rid of the evil. The last thing she wanted to do was kill another innocent life. The baby did not deserve any of this.

Jude sighed. "Did Timothy tell you that he had attempted to perform an exorcism on you?" she questioned.

Mary Eunice looked to her with sullen eyes. The hope that she had come in with, was suddenly knocked out of her. Looking down, she nodded. "It failed," she whispered. That left her with one choice, the less desired one.

"You started out so determined to get rid of the baby, what happened?" Jude questioned. There had to have been something pretty drastic to make her suddenly change her mind like this.

Mary Eunice looked back up to her. "I had a dream," she started with a sniffle. "I saw my daughter. She, she was asking why I had to kill her," she explained.

"It's not murder if the child had no chance for life to begin with," Jude said.

"Would you kill it if it were your's?" Mary Eunice questioned. She needed to be reassured that she wasn't the only that would. A mere confirmation of the fact that she wasn't as horrible and malicious as she currently saw herself.

Jude just looked for a moment. All her life, she had wanted children. If she had fallen pregnant, whether it be married or unmarried, she would have done anything to keep that baby. Maybe even in Mary Eunice's case. On the other hand, she was sure that she was stronger then her when it came to certain situations. Jude was already at the point where she had done so much wrong, that one more thing wouldn't really change anything. "I would kill it. It would be hard, but I would," she answered. She saw that she needed more proof. "I almost killed you to free you didn't I?"

Mary Eunice did remember that. She remembered feeling somewhat relieved when that knife hit her neck. She prayed for it to cut into her, finally release her from the hell that she had been living. Yes," she absently responded.


	7. Trust

Chapter 7: Trust

Mary Eunice had known that her time at Briarcliff was almost done. She was four months pregnant now. Her habit might have been loose fitting, but it wasn't loose enough to continue to hide her condition for long. Timothy was going to find out, and she was going to be out of there as soon as possible.

There were a couple things that she had to do before that happened. She had to get Jude out of there. That was one thing that she had promised herself. This was made easier when the Monsignor had "killed her off" by changing her name. This got rid of the murder charge on her. Now, all she had to do was get through the paper work to release her.

Today, she planned on getting Lana into the place to see Jude. She had been turned down a few times already, and she wanted to help her sneak back into the building. It would be just like the first time. She was going to meet her at the tunnel and lead and then bring Jude down into the basement. It was hard, but she had found a way to get Lana to trust her. She had to assure her that there was no way that she could get her committed back to the place, and told her that she could bring who ever she wanted. Someone to get help if she didn't come back out after a certain amount of time.

Mary Eunice stood right outside the entrance to the tunnel that she used to use to feed Arthur's creatures. He had given up on those creatures, after he had caught Mary Eunice with Timothy, he shot them. Now, it was just an empty forest. Although she had been on his side, and still was most of the time, she was glad that those creatures were gone. After she found out about them, the truth, she had been repulsed by them.

"All right," Lana said as she approached the young nun with an escort. He looked like he had been hired as a body guard. "You mind telling me why we have to go this way?" she curtly questioned.

Mary Eunice watched as Lana huffed, taking a cigarette out of her purse and lighting it. "With everyone wanting to tear down the place now, visitors are being highly monitored. You would never get in," she explained.

Mary Eunice could sense how badly she didn't want to be here, but she knew that her and Jude needed to talk. She heard that Lana would come back for her, and she did try. Now, she wanted to make sure that was possible. In her eyes, Jude didn't deserve to feel betrayed by someone else.

Lana took a drag of her cigarette and nodded. "I know that," she remarked. "So you wanna get on with this?" she nudged.

Mary Eunice sighed. "I think I owe you a confession first," she began, hoping to gain some trust. She still felt bad over the way that she had treated Lana while she was there and wanted to find some way to make up for it. Jude had been the one to arrange her release, so there wasn't really much anything left for her to do.

Lana really did not like Mary Eunice. The real reason that she came today was to thank Jude and to get a few more stories out of her. That was it. Besides that, she had no business talking to anyone else here. She was also nearly six months pregnant. Sneaking around in the woods and questionable tunnels was on the bottom of her list of things she wanted to do.

"What is it?" she asked, figuring that it would be better to just get this over with. Besides, might make for a good story.

Mary Eunice swallowed as she looked down with shame. She took a deep breath before pulling at the back of her dress, tightening it around the tiny swell on her abdomen. "I'm worse than everyone else," she softly admitted.

Lana had known that she was pregnant, but she was still surprised that Mary Eunice had admitted it to her. She didn't know what to say to her. This was the one thing that she was sure that Mary Eunice would try and hide.

Mary Eunice finally looked back up to her, seeing the look of disbelief as her eyes were glued to her belly. "I'm so sorry about the way I had acted. I had no right," she told her. She was sure that there were a million insults going through Lana's head.

"You're right," Lana bitterly replied. Something seemed different about her though. It wasn't enough to trust her again, not like she did the night she snuck in here the first time. She seemed a lot different then.

Mary Eunice was slightly hurt by her response, but really hadn't allowed herself to expect anything different. "When we're in there, please tell Jude that you managed to get her out. I got the paperwork and everything done, I just want her to think you did it," she explained.

Lana just looked to her with suspicion as she tossed her cigarette to the ground. "Why?" she implored. It didn't make any sense to her. "She's getting out. What does she care who did it? I mean, she just thanks you instead of me and then leaves."

Mary Eunice just looked to her, this wasn't the Lana that had left the place a couple of months ago. She had grown more shallow, more just focused on her story than anything else, no real concern over the people here. That was what this place did though, it made people grow cold. "You were the one that promised her that you would come back for her. She believed you. I don't want her to be let down by another person. She doesn't deserve that," she informed her.

Lana saw the sincerity in Mary Eunice's eyes. "You still think the world of her don't you?" she softly questioned, not knowing how she felt about that. Jude, was no saint. She never was even close to being nearly considered. She found it perplexing that anyone could put that woman up on a pedestal. Then again, she was talking to only one worse.

"She was there when everyone else hated me," she responded.

Lana just nodded. She remembered the night in the hall where Mary Eunice had gotten sick. She still did not understand how Jude was able to be so nice to her. After everything that had happened, she still forgave her and moved on with her life. To her, that was something she found both stupid and admirable.

"I hate to be the one to tell you this, but she did a lot of this to herself," Lana told her.

Mary Eunice just looked to her. "If I recall right, you were the one that snuck back here in the first place," she stated.

Lana just looked to her, she had a point. It had been something that she had thought about it. That was actually one of the first thoughts that came to mind when she went to visit Wendy's grave, that she would still be here if she wouldn't have snuck back into this place.

"Follow me," Mary Eunice instructed before turning and leading her through the tunnel. She could see that she got her to thinking and figured that she had to get her in there before she changed her mind.

Oooooo

Jude stood near the end of the tunnel. She knew that she was going to see Lana today and was actually looking forward to it. She wanted to hear how she was doing, how close she was to getting that book of her's finished.

"We're here Jude," Mary Eunice announced as the two neared the end.

Jude turned and smiled to the two. "Well look at you," she said looking over Lana. "You decided to keep it."

"Yeah," Lana curtly answered. It wasn't exactly the best route of action, she really still did not want anything to do with this baby. She just didn't want to be responsible for another death.

"So how have you been holding up?" Lana asked, stopping before Jude.

Jude shrugged. "I've been all right," she answered and then grabbed Lana's arm. She led her over to a couple of chairs where they could sit. "You?" she returned the question.

Lana sat down and pulled out a notepad. "Writing a lot," she replied.

Jude's eyes briefly shifted up to Mary Eunice. "You want another story?" she asked. "Because I've got plenty." She wanted to be able to help bring this place down too.

Mary Eunice's eyes widened. She was a little nervous about this. Although she trusted Jude, it was clear that she still didn't like Arthur. She also didn't want Lana asking who the father of her baby is.

Jude caught the fear and offered Mary Eunice a smile. She was going to protect her. "I could tell you who was truly behind all of this. Every single bit of it. Monsignor Timothy Howard," she informed her.

Lana smiled, looking to her, wondering if this was real. She was about to hear about what had been going on behind the closed doors. Jude had ran the place. If anyone knew anything, it was her. The things that had not been documented. She had already gotten through a lot of her book, but finding new things to add was never a bad thing.

"Well, write it down," Jude urged. "I don't have too much time and there's a lot I want to tell you."

Lana didn't have to write this down, but she scribbled something just to humor her. "Now, tell me more," she said.

Jude smirked. "Well," she started, and then looked up to Mary Eunice. "Where do I begin?"

oooooo

"If there is something going on with Sister Mary Eunice, I must know," Timothy demanded. He had been standing before the desk of Arthur Arden.

"Why do you say that there is something wrong with her?" Arthur calmly asked, sitting back in his chair.

"I saw her yesterday. She was pale and tired looking," he explained.

Arthur sighed and leaned forward. "Look, she has come to see me. All I can tell you is that she is feeling a little under the weather and that she will be fine. Other than that, I have to observe doctor-patient confidentiality," he informed him.

Timothy leaned onto the desk, staring into his eyes. "I don't think you quite understand the situation here Doctor Arden. I am already in trouble with all these people wanting to find out everything they can about this place, just waiting to single handedly take down this whole institution. Now, if they find out that one of my nuns is still working while sick, they'll spin it around to any twisted rumor they can. We have to all watch every single step we take. We need to protect ourselves, and in order for that to happen, I need your complete and total cooperation in this situation. Do I make myself clear?" he sternly explained.

Arthur just darkly smiled. "Believe me Father, I am aware of the current dilemma here," he stated. "But you have to be able to trust me. Now, if you can't then I suggest you fire me."

Timothy stood up and looked to him. He knew that he couldn't fire him. Not now. Everything was being closely watched. They would start questioning why he was fired, start looking more into the experiments that were being done there.

"That's what I thought," Arthur said.

Timothy huffed and then turned to leave. He had other things that he had to attend to at the moment. As soon as he got to the doorway, he stopped and turned back to the doctor. "Just remember, I have an eye on you now. There are always other ways in which I could punish you," he threatened.

Arthur, looked to him with amusement. "I wish you would," he mocked, knowing that he could never go through with it.

He sat there and watched as Timothy just turned and left the room. He then sighed and stood. It was hard for him caring for Mary Eunice as she carried someone else's baby, but at the same time, she was Mary Eunice more and more now. He was able to forgive her for her run in with Timothy, and even the one with Oliver. She had come crying to him, apologizing over and over until he finally forgave her. It was apparent that she didn't want to do that.

What was worse though, was knowing that she would get punished by the very man that impregnated her. The one man that was also responsible. She may have been possessed, but he felt that Timothy needed to take some responsibility for what had happened.

Oooooo

"Thank you so much," Lana said as she stood, a huge smile on her face.

Jude stood with her and returned the smile. "I can trust that all of that will get into print?" she inquired.

Lana nodded. "Yes."

"Good."

"I'll make sure to get you a copy," Lana assured her. She started to head towards the exit, but Mary Eunice looked to her, silently reminding her of the favor that she had requested of her.

Lana turned back and looked to Jude. "Oh, and I remembered something else. You'll be getting out of here very soon," she informed her.

"What?" Jude questioned, not sure if she could trust what she had just heard. She hurried over to stand before Lana. "You mean that?" she implored.

Lana nodded. "Just let me know when you do get out. It should be soon," she explained, briefly looking over to Mary Eunice to make sure that she had the facts right.

"Thank you," Jude said, offering her a hug.

Lana was taken aback, but went ahead and hugged her. "Sure," she replied, glancing back up to Mary Eunice. She still did not understand why she was doing this. She pulled away from the older woman and forced a smile. "I have to tell you though, I mentioned you in the book," she told her.

"Doesn't matter, I'm not Judy Martin anymore," she said and then turned to Mary Eunice. "I'm Betty Drake now."

Lana noted that she was also referring to how she acted. Ever since she had been admitted as a patient, she became more and more like a person. She cared more. She also seemed to be welcome to anything that she deserved rather than cover anything up anymore.

"You need to be escorted out?" Mary Eunice offered.

Lana shook her head. "I think I can remember the way out," she told her.

As soon as Lana was out of sight, Mary Eunice turned and looked to Jude. "You didn't tell her about Doctor Arden," she mentioned.

Jude looked to her and shrugged. "He may be bad, but you seem to need him," she stated. "Besides, you're associated with him." She really was out to protect her friend. There was no way that she could stand by and watch Mary Eunice get her more punished than she had been already.

"Thank you," Mary Eunice responded.

"Just make sure that no one finds out that Lana was here," Jude instructed, smiling to her. "Let's head back to where we're supposed to be."

Mary Eunice just nodded and led her back up to the common room. She was happy fro Jude, that she got to leave now. At the same time though, she wanted desperately to hide the fact that she was going to miss Jude. She was going to lose half the people that she was able to talk to. At any time day or night she was able to go to Jude and talk to her. Even if she just didn't want to be alone, she could just go and sit with her.


	8. Revelations

Chapter 8: Revelations

"I'm still getting sick. Not so much in the morning, more at night. I wake up in the middle of the night with a fever and dizziness. After I throw up I feel weak for a while," Mary Eunice explained. She sat in Arthur's office, worried eyes staring down at her lap, watching her hands, nervously playing with them.

Arthur looked to her, concerned. "How much stress have you been putting on yourself?" he implored. Just watching her now, he could see that she was wound tight.

Mary Eunice looked up to him and shrugged. "I've just been doing my daily routine," she assured him.

Arthur could see that she was about to tell him in detail her schedule, but held up his hand. "You need to start taking care of yourself," he advised. "You're exerting yourself too much, and worrying too much. You need to allow yourself the chance to relax," he warned her.

It was painfully obvious to him, how much she had stopped caring about herself. Although she had gained back a few pounds, it wasn't enough for her and the baby. The color was still drained, and it looked even worse under her dark eyes. She wasn't sleeping, nor was she eating.

That was when it had occurred to him, the conversation that he had with Timothy a few weeks back, when he had come to his office asking about the nun. "Has the Monsignor been after you?" he questioned. By now, she was noticeably pregnant. He could see it just by looking at her. What he didn't want, was Timothy seeing and yelling at her, causing more unneeded stress.

Mary Eunice's eyes slightly widened. She was afraid of what was going to happen with Timothy. How could she explain this to him? She was carrying his baby, and the baby was going to be evil. All that was on his mind was how he was going to become Pope. Her defiled body and tainted baby were only unwanted obstacles. A vile presence in his make believe glory. "I haven't seen him," she muttered, a shamed of herself for being so childish. It wasn't like hiding was going to change the current situation.

"I see," Arthur sighed. He stood and started around his desk, off towards the other side of the room. "I think you should go tell him," he instructed. He knew that Timothy would get mad at her. That much, was inevitable. The quicker she got it over with though, the quicker she could shed some of that unnecessary stress.

The older doctor turned and watched her for a moment. For a minute, she looked to him as though she couldn't even bring herself to fathom the suggestion. "As soon as you tell him, you can stop worrying about what is going to happen," he offered.

Mary Eunice's mouth hung agape. "I suppose," she whispered. If this was what she had to do, this was what she had to do. There was no getting out of it, sooner or later, he was going to know. At this point, it was becoming sooner rather than later. The mere thought though, still bothered her.

"I'll go tell him," she softly announced. Her hand went to the desk for support as she cautiously pulled herself to her feet. Her shaky hand went to her side as she nervously bit her lip.

Arthur just nodded, urging her to go. Instead though, he saw her eyes searching for something in his. Like a child wondering why you punish them, wondering why they have to tell their parent bad news.

Mary Eunice quickly adverted her eyes, keeping them down to the floor as she started towards the door, quickening her pace to go and get this over with as soon as possible.

The door swung open before the young girl could reach it though. "Father," she gasped, her mouth agape, eyes wide with fear. Her stomach immediately dropped. In her mind, she kept telling herself to say something else, but she couldn't. Her legs wouldn't even allow her to move out of the way. Her body was paralyzed.

Timothy stood there, eyeing her. At first he was surprised to see her. He too, stood with his mouth hung open for a moment. His eyes though, lowered. They focused on her midsection. He swallowed, trying to take in what he just saw, hoping that maybe he was mistaken. "Why didn't you tell me?" he forcibly asked, not able to make eye contact.

"There was nothing you could do about it," she replied. There was something he could have done, he could have gotten rid of her. What hurt her most, was that she knew he would have done it. He would have gotten her out of there without a second thought. He would have just casted her out into the world with so much as one brief second of regret or sorrow.

She was going to have his baby, and he was about to get mad at her. No concern, no questions, just a simple good bye. He didn't care about her. She knew that. He didn't care about her, he didn't care about what he did to Jude, he didn't care about anyone but himself. He needed to get to the top, his ambition blinding him from those that did, at one care for him.

It disturbed her how he could shrug of some one who had been looking out for him. She knew how Jude felt about him. It was wrong. On the other hand, she went out of her way to help him, and he tossed her away like nothing. If he could do that to someone he considered a friend, she was worried about what he could do to her.

Timothy shot a glare over to Arthur. "Do either of you realize how this looks?" he sternly implored through gritted teeth.

"Looks like you got our little Sister here pregnant," Arthur quipped. It only felt right to stick up for her. Besides, it was the truth. That was how anyone associated with the press would see it.

Timothy quickly looked back to Mary Eunice. "You should have told me!" he barked. "Do you realize what this is going to do? If anyone finds out about this?" he yelled, straining to try and keep in control of himself.

Mary Eunice just stared to him. Her body had tensed at the sound of his voice, but suddenly relaxed. Her head went down, eyes filling with water. "I'm sorry," she softly whimpered.

Timothy just huffed, shaking his head. This was all so much to take in at once. "You sure it's mine?" he blurted out, grasping for any sort of way out of this.

Arthur was about to get furious with the man, but Mary Eunice held up her hand. She didn't like the yelling, and didn't think that what ever Arthur was about to say would help that. "It's your's," she assured him.

"I see," Timothy sighed.

"Excuse me Father," Mary Eunice said before turning and leaving.

Oooooo

"Why did you decide to show up?" Arthur questioned, carefully examining something on his desk.

Jude sighed from her spot on the couch. "I thought I ought to check in her. I needed to know that she was alright," she impatiently answered. Right now she was just hoping that Mary Eunice would get here already. Being in this place now just made her feel uneasy. Being in the room with Arthur didn't seem to help. She still did not trust him.

Arthur just nodded with a hum. He was too busy to really care about why she was there. All he cared about was the fact that she was there in his way.

Mary Eunice was supposed to be there to see him. He needed to get some blood work done for her. She was running a little late though. A couple of the other nuns had decided to give her a hard time over her newly visible little problem.

Most times, she would have hated this, but this time, she decided to find a bright side. It allowed her the chance to be able to stick up for herself, not let others belittle her. Even though she still felt like crying, she was able to stiffen her lip and tell them that she wasn't in the wrong. She was able to tell them that they had no room to judge.

"What were you doing down here all this time?" Jude asked. She figured that as long as she was just sitting here, she might as well find out the answer to the question that had been bugging her all this time.

"Nothing of your concern...," Arthur started. He was about to call her sister, but caught himself.

"What? You think I'm gonna rat you out?" Jude quipped. "This place is no longer any of my concern," she bitterly explained. Going into all of this, she thought that everything was going to work in her favor. She went in as dumb as a young school girl, naïve enough to think that perhaps this place was good, and that it would bring her closer to the man that she so admired.

If only she knew just how wrong she was back then. Maybe, she herself wasn't so different from Mary Eunice. She sought to see the good in someone, when it wasn't entirely there. She looked to run a place that she believed in, completely blinding herself from what was truly happening.

It didn't matter now though, the place had done its damage. It brought upon the pure ambition to everyone here: herself, Timothy, and even Arthur.

"Yes it is," he flatly argued.

Jude raised a brow to him. "What do you mean?" she suspiciously implored.

Arthur sat up and darkly grinned to her. "Don't tell me that you don't want to get back at Father," he said. His grin growing as he saw the spark of interest in her eyes. "You may be here to see Mary Eunice, but part of you also wants to see him cracking under the current pressure. Admit it Jude, you would love for him to walk in right now, falling apart as his entire world is collapsing around him," he darkly urged her.

"You're right, I do want to see him fail," she admitted. "Not for the reasons you believe though," she added.

"Oh?" Arthur was now curious. Anything he could hold over that man was of use to him. He needed something more on Timothy, just in case he needed a favor of some sorts.

Jude smirked upon seeing the delight in Arthur's face. "He needs to fail before he hurts anyone else," she informed him. The smirk quickly faded.

"I'm here," Mary Eunice breathlessly announced, quickly closing the door behind her. She was about to tell Arthur something, but stopped as soon as she caught sight of the older ex-nun. "Jude?" she questioned.

Jude stood and smiled. "I told you I would come by," she said.

Mary Eunice nodded as she walked over to join her. She really was just happy to see her. It was a little hard losing someone that would actually look to her without judgmental eyes. Before she told her anything, she looked back to Arthur, trying to get him to leave the room. "Arthur?" she gently nudged.

Arthur looked up and decided to give in to her wishes. "Fine," he sighed, getting to his feet. "I have a few things to attend to in the operating room anyways," he explained before grabbing a couple items off his desk and leaving.

Mary Eunice turned back to Jude, sullen eyes looking down towards the floor. "The baby's started kicking," she flatly announced. Her eyes slowly shifted up to see Jude's sympathetic expression.

"I see," Jude had formed the only response that she could muster.

"It makes me sick," Mary Eunice desperately explained. "And now everybody knows," she bitterly stated, adverting her eyes off to the side. "Even the Monsignor," she added with a whimper.

Jude was instantly worried as she grabbed onto the young girl's shoulders. "How did he react?" she gently inquired.

Mary Eunice looked up to her. "He asked me how I thought this would look," she answered, sniffling.

Jude nodded. She was really looking for an excuse to go talk to Timothy, finally tell him how she truly felt about him. It wasn't that she was hoping for him to have hurt Mary Eunice, she just pretty much figured he would and wanted her to be more honest about what he did. "Did he say anything else?" Jude questioned.

Mary Eunice lowered her head with shame, as if she had deserved the next words that had come from his mouth. "He asked if I was sure that the baby was his," she softly informed her.

Jude dropped her arms to her sides. Her concern turned to to disgust. She couldn't believe that he would even think to ask her that. "He panicked," Jude told her. She didn't mean to stick up for him, but she didn't want Mary Eunice thinking that it was possible of her to be thought of as a whore.

Jude went ahead and pulled her in for a hug as soon as she saw that she was still ready to cry. "I'll talk to him," she offered.

"Okay," Mary Eunice replied. She knew that it might not really change anything, but at the same time, it was obvious that Jude just wanted to talk to Timothy.

Mary Eunice pulled back and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "You'll get in trouble though," she warned.

Jude shrugged. "So what?" she questioned. "I either get kicked out or locked back in here. I've been through both," she explained. Quite honestly, if she were able to truly go up there and tell Timothy off, the punishment would be worth it.

Mary Eunice watched as Jude made her way to the door. "Come back after?" she requested.

"Of course," Jude answered. "It may not be right after this, but I will be back," she explained.

Mary Eunice softly smiled to herself. Even though she appreciated it when Arthur would stick up for her to Timothy, she knew that Arthur had nothing to lose. Jude, on the other hand, had plenty to lose. She had just gotten out of this place. What she was doing could easily get her locked back up in here.

Oooooo

Jude made her way up to the familiar office and stood outside the door, a dark smirk on her face as she knocked on the door. She was like a little kid now, excited for what awaited her.

"Come in!" Timothy called from the other side of the door.

Jude entered, making sure to close the door behind her. "Well look at you Timothy," she sneered. "Nothing seems to affect you here in your own little office."

Timothy looked up to her surprised that she was even there. "Jude?" he inquired, removing his glasses.

Jude smiled. "Yes, I got in," she said, her heals clicking as she made her way over to his desk. "What are you going to do about it? Have me taken back out?" she tempted.

"What are you doing here?" he implored.

"Something that I'm sure you won't do. I was here to see Mary Eunice, make sure she was okay," she explained.

"You knew?" he asked, more upset at the fact that he seemed to be the last to find out about her condition.

Jude smirked. "Yes, Timothy. I knew. She told me because she couldn't tell you," she explained, trying to get him worked up, finding pleasure in his perplexed expression.

"What do you mean she couldn't tell me?" he questioned, standing from his seat. His hands were down on the desk, supporting him as he leaned in towards Jude.

"Because Monsignor," she venomously spat. "You care nothing of her, and she knows it. You don't care about anyone but yourself. If it happens to get in the way of your precious dream, you find a way to erase it," she bitterly informed him.

Jude shrugged, turning towards the side and casually strolling toward the fire place. "I don't know if you've just gotten worse, or if you've always been this tainted," she remarked.

"Now listen here!" Timothy demanded, pushing himself off the desk. "As far as I'm concerned, this matter is none of your business. You have no right to come in here and tell me how to run this place. You were let go," he reminded her as he came up behind her.

Jude crossed her arms, turning back to him. "Yes, that's right, you did get rid of me," she stated.

Timothy stopped and nodded. "You may leave now," he said through gritted teeth.

Jude ignored his words. "Do you know that I would have done anything for you?" she flatly inquired. Her face void of emotion. "I thought you were everything. I believed that you were going to Rome. I believed in you and your empty dream," she coldly explained. Her eyes narrowed on him. "I guess this is what I get for being such a blind fool, thinking that you might possibly be a good person. Now when you enter my thoughts I get sick."

Jude watched him fro a moment before shaking her head. "I've been trying to figure out what ever the hell it as I saw in you. After a lot of thought, I've come to the only conclusion that sounds plausible, that what ever there was, I must've made up in my own mind," she said before turning to leave.

"What do you want me to do?" Timothy called after her. "Be excited about the baby? Ask her what we should name it?"

Jude briefly froze before wheeling around to face him. "I want you to be decent to her," she told him before walking back over to join him. "I want you to understand that this isn't easy for her either."

Timothy just looked to her, trying to find the best way to tell her what he really thought of all of this. Before he could speak though, Jude continued.

"Do you know why she's been acting more like herself lately and less like the devil?" she darkly questioned, closing the space between them. "It's done with her. He's more concerned about that baby that she's carrying. That thing that she's about to give birth to is going to be born evil. How do you think a young girl like that deals with a situation like this?" she asked, her voice steadily raising.

Timothy's eyes grew wide. Her words suddenly made sense to him. The sudden realization left him speechless.

"When that child is born, I guarantee you that it will be hard on her. And if you're not more careful, it might just be the end of you," she stated.


	9. Violated

Chapter 9: Violated

The leaves crunched beneath Mary Eunice's bare feet as she cautiously walked through the barren forest. The dead trees ominously crowded around her. The air was cold and still. She instantly realized that she was not wearing any clothes. She also wasn't pregnant anymore.

She froze as she heard there was someone else with her. "H-hello?" she choked out to the woods.

Nothing. Nervously, she crossed her arms and hesitantly trudged onward, deeper into the rotting foliage that was once a forest. No idea why, or where she was going. All she knew was that she felt vulnerable, as if she were being watched.

"Mary?"

Mary Eunice quickly wheeled around and gasped at the sight. An older, tall, built man. The stench of alcohol suddenly filling the air. "Uncle Charlie," she muttered, her eyes fixated on him.

The man approached her, a dirty smirk forming. "You're still no good," he mentioned, trying to close the space between the two. "You're just as bad as when you were little," he told her.

Mary Eunice quickly shook her head. Almost instinctively, she raised her arms, making sure to cover her breasts as she started to slowly back away from him. "I'm not bad," she meekly attempted to argue. It didn't matter what she said though, that smirk was going now where. The ill intentions were written all over his face. The very same expression she had scene, the one engraved in her mind from very long ago. They were there to stay.

"Remember the first time I punished you?" he questioned.

Mary Eunice nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks. All she wanted to do was turn and run, but she couldn't. She couldn't get out of his presence.

Charlie backed her up against a tree. "Believe me, everything that you have now, you deserve it," he explained. "You're entire life, is nothing but a sham. Claiming to be little miss innocent. All you ever were was a little brat. My cheap little slut," he taunted. His smirk faded, soon replaced by a look of disgrace as his beady eyes carefully looked over her body.

He lifted his hand to cover her mouth while his other hand pressed her shoulder back against the bark. "You tried to erase it. Just who the hell do you think you are to abandon your punishment? Huh? You suddenly better than all of us? You sure as hell ain't no holier than thou figure," he spat.

Mary Eunice squirmed under his grip. She wanted to scream, fight back, anything but just stand there. Staying there though, was the only option she had. She was completely powerless.

"Ever since you gave up your precious virginity to me, you've been dirty. Nothing but a filthy little snake. If you would have been good, you could have kept it," he told her.

Mary Eunice watched him with wide eyes, his grin returning. She dreaded what was coming next, but she had to see it. Just like when she was little. The time that she had made a mess in the kitchen trying to get breakfast for herself and then interrupted her aunt and uncle. She could see the empty bottles in the bedroom and she could see how mad he was, yet, she didn't look away from the unfolding scene. She felt she had to watch him. It was the only thing that she could do.

"Now ya wanna get rid of the kid. Shame on you," he said. His grotesque grin grew. "I guess I'll just have to punish you again."

Mary Eunice's eyes grew with fear as he leaned in and started sucking on her neck. Her head turned up, with her eyes tightly closing. She couldn't bare to watch this anymore. She felt sick and disgusting. She needed to get out of there.

Her fists clenched as she felt his wet mouth start moving onto her chest. She cringed as he began to suck on her nipple.

Mary Eunice woke with her hand draped over her stomach. She just laid there, horrified from the images that haunted her. The memories of the day that she long since blocked out of her head. "Why?" she whimpered to herself, her hand securely holding onto her belly.

For a mere moment, she had suddenly become very protective over the baby. It was as if this baby were innocent. If only it were. With only a month left until the baby was due, she wished for nothing more that maybe she was wrong.

She carefully climbed out of bed and head over to the phone. Beside it, she picked the notebook and started searching through it for Jude's phone number. She needed to talk to someone. No one here would listen to her. Arthur would, but this was something more for Jude.

She noticed the time after the phone had started ringing. Although she felt bad, she still needed someone.

"Hello?" Jude answered, her voice raspy from just waking.

"Why did I have to be the one to have the baby?" she flatly questioned. She needed someone to tell her they didn't know. She needed to know that there was no specific reason, that maybe she didn't deserve this.

"Mary Eunice?" Jude asked, running her hand through her hair. The former question hadn't quite hit her yet. "What's wrong?"

"Why I am I the one having this baby?" she implored once more. Her voice remained calm and steady.

Jude wasn't quite sure how to answer that at the moment. "The Devil needed someone pure enough to protect it," she simple answered, hoping it sufficed.

Jude waited a moment, but there was no answer. She could tell that Mary Eunice was upset over something. "How about I come in tomorrow and you can tell me?" she offered. Besides, she was still tired, she knew that she wasn't going to be of any help right now anyways. All she wanted to do at the moment was go back to sleep.

"Okay," Mary Eunice weakly replied before hanging up the phone.

Jude pulled the phone away from her and eyed it for a second. Usually when she would talk to Mary Eunice, they would say good bye to each other. Apparently this time, she was preoccupied.

Oooooo

Timothy stepped into the common room. It was going to be one of his last times in this place. Briarcliff had been donated to the state. The church only had it for a little while longer. As soon as the paper work was done, he was out of there and off to New York.

The patients there had no idea of what was going on here. They had no idea of the change that was going to occur. In a way, Timothy had felt as if he were giving up on these people. He felt like these people were being abandoned.

Lana's book had just been published though, and he had caught glimpse of what was said in there about him. He saw that Lana had talked about the way that he had treated Jude, the way that he faked her death. He needed to get out of this place before his name was ruined, and the church needed to get rid of the place before there were any more questions.

Over all though, this place held the bad memories of what had happened between him and Mary Eunice. She had violated him in this very place. He lost his virtue, as Jude had said, to the Devil. He had planted his seed in the young girl, the one that was on bed rest upstairs. He was going through hell trying to cover up what was going on here.

Three months ago, he went to Mary Eunice and told her that someone else was going to be in charge. She didn't really seem to care though.

"Everyone!" he called. "May I please have your attention for a moment?" he requested.

The room fell silent, everyone turning and looking to him. Half of them looked scared. "I have an announcement to make. In three weeks, this place will become an overflow house for the jails. That means that some of you will be transferred out of here, while others, will have to get used to sharing rooms," he announced.

His eyes wondered the room. Some of them didn't even understand what he was saying. It didn't really matter whether or not he told them. It mattered to him, it eased his guilt thinking that he had prepared them for the upcoming changes.

oooooo

Jude closed the door behind her and offered her a comforting smile. "So what happened last night?" she questioned, folding her arms and leaning back against the wall. She was tired from being awoken at four in the morning, but that wasn't her main concern at the moment.

Mary Eunice shrugged from her spot in bed. Her head was down, her eyes focused on her protruding belly as her hands rested on it, gripping the edge of the blanket. The memories that she had tried so hard to block out, were all flooding back to her. After a moment, she lifted her head revealing her tired and tear stained face. "It's all my fault," she whimpered.

Jude looked to her for a moment, trying to figure out what she meant. She pushed herself off the wall, dropping her arms to her sides. "What is?" she inquired, slowly making her way to the end of the young nun's bed.

Mary Eunice swallowed, trying to gather enough composure before telling her. She wasn't about to cry, she was done with that. She was scared, and ashamed. Her entire body was shaky. "I didn't mean to," she whispered. "All I wanted to do was help, but I messed up the kitchen, so my uncle had to punish me."

Jude eyed her skeptically, trying to figure out what this had to do with anything. "Did he hit you?" she cautiously implored. She felt as if saying one wrong thing could put this girl over the edge. She had to treat her like a china doll.

"I should have never become a nun, I didn't deserve it," she confessed, her voice was shaky.

Jude shook her head, gently laughing. "Please, have you forgotten why I was here? I'm sure whatever you did, couldn't have been that bad," she assured her.

Mary Eunice just nodded. "I gave up my virtue," she breathily admitted. "I had to because I was a bad girl and because he shouldn't have to wait. He told me that he shouldn't have to pay for my mistakes."

Jude's mouth as her hand went up to her chest. She was slowly starting to piece everything together in her mind. Her pitiful eyes glued to Mary Eunice. "Oh my God," she gasped. She could feel herself getting sick to her stomach, her eyes widening. The idea itself had made her about to throw up, but she had to keep herself together. No use in getting Mary Eunice more excited. She already looked as if she were wound up enough to run a marathon.

"So he took me into his room and closed the door," Mary Eunice started, but paused, looking up to Jude. "I deserve this. I deserve this baby. I can't kill it," she wearily explained with desolate eyes. "I need to be punished, and that would be running from it."

Jude looked to her, needing a moment to fully comprehend what she was hearing. "Don't you dare even think that," she harshly snapped. She was angry, angry with the fact that this young lady thought little enough of herself to even believe it. Angry with the fact that she had been convinced of this in the first place. And angry with the man that had violated her at some point. She was trying her hardest to restrain herself right now, but she could only hold back so much.

Jude dropped her hands to her sides and rushed over around to the side of the bed. "You deserved to be a nun more than any of us here," she sternly reminded. "You know that you're better than that."

Mary Eunice looked up to her with almost fearful eyes. "I lied to everyone," she softly argued. "He took my virtue when I was six, and I came in here claiming to be a virgin."

Jude sighed, motioning for Mary Eunice to scoot over a little. As soon as she did, Jude went and sat down on the edge of the bed. She cupped the her fearful face in her hand. "Now, I want you to listen to me. What that man did was vile and disgusting. You did not deserve that. You understand? You had nothing to do with that. That man should be the one rotting in hell," she firmly explained.

Mary Eunice's eyes started rimming with tears, her lip quivering. Suddenly, Jude felt guilty over the way she had reacted. "You're fine now," she said as she let go of her face and then reached over and embraced her from the side. "I've got you," she comforted.

Jude just sat there, Mary Eunice's head resting on her shoulder. There were a lot of people out there who deserved to be punished. Why weren't they suffering? Why this girl instead?

"I promise you, you're not the one that deserves this," Jude reassured her.

Mary Eunice just sat there, unmoving. She wasn't sure whether or not she believed what she was hearing, but it did help. One person out there telling her that she was a decent person was enough to get her through the day.


	10. De Morte Lilium (part 1)

Chapter 10: De Morte Lilium (part 1)

Mary Eunice sat alone in her darkened room, her hand rested on her belly, almost protectively over the unborn child. Her tired eyes focused on the bulge as she yearned for some rhyme or reason to all of this.

_At thirteen years old, Mary Eunice stood with her older sister Clara in the hallway. "Are you sure about this?" she questioned, not sure that this was a good idea. _

_Clara just nodded. She was never as naïve as her little sister had been. "It'll be fine. I promise," she reassured her. "Now just go in there and grab the bottle for me." _

_Mary Eunice nervously looked to her for a moment. "All it will do is make you throw up?" she inquired. She wanted to make sure she had all the information before grabbing medicine for someone else. _

"_Yes." _

It was a week later that there were all standing at her sister's funeral. Clara had overdosed. Mary Eunice had confessed to her parents what happened. They assured her that she really had nothing to do with it, that Clara was an adult and that this was all in her hands. That never stopped her though from feeling guilty.

There was only one other time that she felt nearly as bad. She was six years old, and staying with her Aunt and Uncle.

_Her little feet padded down the hallway as she made her way to the closed door. "I spilled the milk!" she called. _

_The door opened, her Aunt smiled to her, told it was fine and went to clean the mess. Her Uncle on the other hand, sat at the edge of the bed, the smell of beer filling the room as he glared to the little girl. To this day, she considered that not turning and running was her biggest mistake ever. _

That man went on to be the worst monster she would ever know. That was, up until recently. She considered herself just as bad as him. No matter what she was possessed with, it was her that violated Timothy. It was her that took his innocence, just like her's had been taken so long ago.

She had also began to take in to consideration the fact that she was weak. Too weak to fight the evil within her, and too weak to protect those around her from it's wrath. It was her weakness that caused so much pain. Once she saw that, she realized that this all really was her fault. All of it.

_Mary Eunice just lay there, trying to figure out what to do next. "Don't make me have to do that again. You hear?" her uncle barked. An ominous voice she swore she would never forget. Her eyes following him as he got off of the bed and proceeded to put on his pants. "You happy?" he mumbled. "Now you're the fucking shame of the family. Everything you get you deserve you little piece of shit slut," he growled. _

Now, Mary Eunice lay in her bed, more than twenty years later and she still felt as shameful and helpless as she did back then on that very day. Her uncle's words still going through her head, it was never going to let her forget. Never completely.

Her eyes remained on her hand on her belly. She could feel the baby moving under her hand, and she began to resent it. All that baby was to her, was the bitter punishment that she was still receiving when she was only six years old. Her uncle was right, she needed to be punished, she had avoided it for too long. Now she was paying for it. Everything that she had done.

"Stop it," Mary Eunice whispered with agitation. She was already being taunted by her own memories, she didn't need it from her baby.

All she wanted to do was get rid of this baby. She resented everything about it, how it came along, the physical and mental torture that it put her through, and the fact that it wouldn't let her forget. It was part of her, it was always there, never giving her a moment's rest.

Suddenly the baby forcefully kicked under her hand. "Stop it!" she snapped. She couldn't take it anymore. She was tired. All she wanted was a good night's sleep. Her body was worn down and the baby would not let her sleep. It kept having to remind her, dig into her what was going on, never letting her have a moment to forget. It constantly had to keep her in the present.

Oooooo

Arthur walked down the hall towards his office. He had been cleaning out his things, making sure to get his boxes out of there little by little so that in a few weeks, there wouldn't be too much to move.

He opened his door to see that the back of his chair was facing the door. "Hello? He questioned. He figured maybe one of the patients had snuck in while he was absent.

"Close, the door."

Arthur sighed as he took a few steps forward. "Look, I don't know who you think you are, or even who you really are for that matter," he calmly started.

The chair turned, revealing Mary Eunice to be sitting there with a knife in her hand. She stared to him with sinister eyes. "You want to kill my baby," she flatly stated. "You were going to abort it, but I did too much damage myself, enough to the point where after waiting for it to heal, it would have been too late anyways."

Arthur cautiously eyed her, trying to figure out what exactly she was planning on doing with that knife. It was either about to be used on him or her baby, or even herself. The main thing though, was not to approach her too quickly, he didn't want her making any rash decisions. "That is correct," he answered.

Mary Eunice nodded. "I know," she whispered. "I can't let you kill it now though. I just can't. It would be wrong, and I would have to be punished again. I just couldn't handle that again," she explained, her face void of any emotion. It was like she had mentally shut down and numbed herself.

"What are you talking about?" Arthur implored. He stepped closer to her, watching the knife.

Mary Eunice stood and looked to him, shaking her head. "I just can't," she whimpered, finally allowing some feeling to show through. "Do you understand?" she implored.

Arthur stared at her, trying to decode what it was she was trying to say to him. "After this is all done and over with, you will be fine," he assured her. Right now though, he was willing to say just about anything to get her to put down the knife. The only he wasn't about to say was put down the knife.

Mary Eunice shook her head. "No," she softly replied, her hand gripping harder onto the handle. "You think that this will all just disappear?"

Arthur stood there speechless. He did not want to say the wrong thing, and that was becoming increasingly harder. He said no, he might sound to negative for her liking, disappoint her and confirm her fears. Yes might cause her to think that he didn't understand the situation.

Mary Eunice anxiously awaited his response, only to receive nothing. Without giving it any thought, she raised her knife. "Of course you don't," she said. She then pointed the knife towards her belly. "You'll never know," she regretfully murmured.

Arthur was about to grab her wrist, but she quickly turned her hand, slitting into his wrist. "Don't ever touch me again!" she growled.

Arthur stood there, staring down to the fresh cut in his skin. Maybe his Mary Eunice was never going to come back to him. It was obvious that the cut was intentional. There was no question.

"Leave now!" he demanded. In that moment, he had instantly stopped caring what happened to her. The way that she threatened him, it was the same a year ago. She never went back to normal. It was an act.

Mary Eunice just nodded and obliged. It wasn't until she got down the hall that she finally dropped the knife and continued to her room.

Oooooo

"What happened?" Jude asked as she entered the room. She carefully closed the door behind her and approached the bed. Never before had she seen someone's eyes so dark and desperate.

Mary Eunice just watched her. She was in on it too. She had to be. "What do you want?" she suspiciously inquired.

Jude just looked to her and sighed. "You know what I want," she curtly answered. "What I want to know is why you pulled a knife on Doctor Arden."

Jude sat down on the edge of the bed and watched her for a moment. No response. "Look, I've wanted to pull a knife on him too. In a way, I'm jealous you got the chance and I didn't. You can tell me anything, I'm not going to judge you," she assured her.

Mary Eunice shrugged. "He wants to kill it," she confessed. "He wants to kill my baby and make my punishment worse. He wants me to have to be punished again," she steadily explained.

Jude was a little taken aback by this answer. The girl had cracked, it was evident. There was a small chance that it wasn't actually Mary Eunice she wasn't talking to anymore, but she was willing to take it. "Why would you get punished for something he wants to do? Shouldn't he be the one that gets punished?" she questioned.

"I would get punished for not protecting it," Mary Eunice flatly answered.

Jude tried to see if there was any emotion left in the young girl's eyes. Even the devil was more emotional than this. "Have you been getting any sleep?" she inquired, noticing the dark circles under her eyes.

"I can't," she answered, looking to Jude. "The baby won't let me," she whimpered.

Jude nodded. "Making you sick?"

"It won't let me forget," Mary Eunice nearly cried. "It has to make sure I remember, and it scares me."

Jude thought it best to just not say anything at this point about what she was talking about. "Would you be able to sleep if I were here?" she offered. She felt it would help a lot if Mary Eunice could just at least take a nap.

"It doesn't matter," she absently replied.

Jude stood and sighed. "Try," she firmly instructed. "I'm going to be over here in this chair, and I want you to try and sleep," she stated.

Mary Eunice was about to protest, but Jude held up her hand. She may not have worked here anymore, but Mary Eunice did still see her as an authoritative figure. Instead, she turned over and forced herself to try and sleep.

Jude offered a brief smile before going over to the chair and taking a seat. She pulled a book out of her purse that she had been working on during her breaks at work and started reading.


	11. De Morte Lilium (part 2)

"_The pain comes from knowing that we have never been safe, and therefore will never be safe again. It comes from knowing we can never be so ignorant again. It comes from knowing we can never be children again. Losing innocence. Remembering heaven. That was the essence of hell." - John Jakes_

Chapter 11: De Morte Lilium (part 2)

Jude's eye lids fluttered open, adjusting to the light in the room. She had just realized that she had fallen asleep. She gathered her book from the floor and checked the time, learning that she was already an hour late for work. At this point though, she didn't care. It was a dumb job in retail, with a newly appointed manager whom she thought would be better off picking up the trash off the sides of the roads. She was meaning to quit anyways.

With her things gathered, she stood and looked over to Mary Eunice for a moment. She had been there for about five hours, and four of them were spent sleeping. Hopefully, Mary Eunice had gotten the entire five. She was also hoping that she wasn't going to be upset when she woke up to find that she was alone.

As quietly as she could, she exited the room. As soon as she got out into the hall, Arthur passed her, carrying a box. She was surprised that he didn't say anything to her. Usually when he would find her here, he would tell her that she shouldn't be here or that he could get her kicked out if she did anything wrong. He was preoccupied today.

Instead of just letting it go, she decided that she had some time to waste. "What? No threat today?" she quipped, catching up to him.

"I quite honestly don't care what you do anymore Jude," Arthur replied, trying to get rid of her. He had more important things on his mind right now. More disturbing things. He was trying to fathom how this sweet, innocent girl could cut him in a spot where it could be considered murder attempt. She cut him on purpose. Even if he was the one grabbing for the knife, he could see it in her eyes that she was just waiting for the right moment.

He never got back the Mary Eunice that he had lost. She was still gone, permanently gone. It was that very action that made him see how much of a fool he was to even think that he had a chance of getting her back, ever. It hurt him more than anything though. It was a harsh slap in the face.

Jude stopped for a second, almost feeling sorry for him. "I heard what happened today," she announced.

Arthur momentarily froze before slowly turning back to her. "Then why do insist on seeing her?" he bitterly implored.

"I thought you were a doctor," Jude responded.

"What do you mean?" he asked. He didn't care for the stabs and snubs right now. He was more interested in what was going on with Mary Eunice. He needed to know.

Jude sighed. "She feels guilty as it is, she hasn't slept. How do you think you would react?" she explained.

Arthur shook his head. "No, this was different. I can tell the difference between Mary Eunice and that thing that was in the office with me. Trust me, we've lost her for good," he flatly stated before turning and continuing on his way.

Jude stood there, wondering if maybe she was the foolish one. As much as she hated to admit it, Arthur would know what he was talking about here. He did know Mary Eunice. He saw every little change that occurred in her personality.

She could easily tell when it was Mary Eunice, that was for sure, but back there, she herself wasn't so sure. She wasn't evil, just weird. Maybe she was giving up on fighting, maybe it was the devil just trying to play with their heads.

Hopelessness suddenly washed over her, making her wonder if there was ever any real chance of helping the girl. She wasn't upset about the time she had wasted, nor was she upset about the times that the real Mary Eunice came to her. What she was upset over, was the fact that everyone around her was paying for their sins, but no one was getting rewarded for being good.

She had just seen Kit, she learned about what happened, how Grace was murdered. In her mind, she wasn't so sure that Grace had deserved to die, but she was aware of the fact that she died the same way that she killed her family. She herself was put through hell after putting others through it her entire life. Arthur who had killed many people was suffering alone. Even when Mary Eunice was still herself, she could see it in his eyes that he wished things were different.

Grace was paying at the expense of Kit's happiness though, and Arthur at the expense of Mary Eunice's soul. Then there was Timothy who was getting ready to become Cardinal of New York.

Now, it all came down to more faith than anything. Not just religion, but in the world itself. Her very own life and existence. It just didn't make sense to her. It all revolted her.

Bad people pay for their sins and the good people suffer right along with them while another portion of the bad people get rewarded. Even in the case of Lana and Oliver. Lana went through hell, but she still left here, alone. No one to go back to, no one to talk to. Oliver didn't have to rot in jail. He was killed, he was freed from his misery.

Jude recalled how when she was younger, she used to think that everything was fair. She had the idea that bad people got punished and good people got rewarded. It was a simplistic, but comforting theory. Even as she got older, she managed to hold a little faith in it. The evidence was right there in her very life. She hurt a girl and her life was falling apart, she then becomes a nun and things start to get better for her.

It wasn't until she was a patient that reality hit her as hard as it did. Bad things happened regardless. There was no reason for anything.

"Jude?"

Jude was brought out of her thoughts as she turned to see Mary Eunice poking her head out of her door. "What's wrong?"

"The baby's here," Mary Eunice nervously announced. There was no way that she was ready for this. Sure, she was happy to get rid of it, but at the same time, she was going to see her baby for the first time, actually meet it. That, she knew she couldn't handle.

Jude just sighed. "Just go back to bed. I'll go get Doctor Arden," she instructed before heading down the hall. She wanted to be able to talk to him alone.

Jude made it to the end of the hall and waited for him. There was no need to go further than she had to, not here where she could get caught.

"Arthur?" she called once he got back upstairs.

Arthur paused, seeing the concern in her eyes. He might not have liked her, but there was some curiosity. "What?" he coldly questioned.

"Do you realize that that baby Mary Eunice is carrying is evil?" she questioned. "I mean, do you really know?"

Arthur sighed. Why not? With everything else that had gone on here, he wasn't so sure that it was hard to believe anything anymore. "What do you want me to do about it?" he curtly responded.

Jude shrugged. She wanted to say kill it, but she couldn't bring herself to say it. Arthur caught on though. Instead of questioning it or arguing, he just nodded. His eyes went down to the ground. This was something that was going to be a bit difficult for him too.

"She's in labor now," Jude finally announced.

"Fine," Arthur sighed. "Let's go get this over with," he said.

Jude just watched for a moment as he walked towards Mary Eunice's room. She wondered if he even cared about anything anymore.

oooooo

Mary Eunice howled in pain. Jude was by her side. This was Mary Eunice now, and only Mary Eunice. A young girl that needed her right now.

Jude stood there, one hand on her shoulder and the other being tightly gripped by the nun. She watched with sympathy as she watched the tears stream down her face. She had been in there with her for six hours now.

Mary Eunice was finally able to relax again as the contraction ended. "How much longer should this take?" she breathily implored.

"Depends," Arthur casually answered as he checked her progress.

Mary Eunice slightly lifted her head and looked to him with desperation. "Will I be all right?" she questioned, a genuine fear present in her voice.

"Probably."

Jude looked between Mary Eunice and Arthur. She could see how much Mary Eunice needed him. How she was trying to find some comfort in his words. "You'll be fine," she promised before letting go of her hand and starting off towards the door.

"Please don't leave!" Mary Eunice begged.

"Don't worry, I'll be right over here!" Jude responded. She then looked over to Arthur. "May I please see you a moment?" she requested.

"No," Arthur said as he pretended to be busy with something.

Jude sighed. "Doctor Arden!" she snapped.

"Listen Jude," Arthur started, looking over to her. "You may have forgotten, but you are not in charge here anymore. No one here has to listen to you. As a matter of fact, I can have you kicked out of here," he explained.

"If you haven't forgotten, I know exactly where your files are that Sister Mary Eunice retrieved. Now come over here before she needs you again," she warned. There were a lot of things that Mary Eunice had told her over the past few months.

Arthur sighed and gave into her demand. "What is it?" he asked as he approached her. He had no problem making it obvious that he thought he was wasting his time talking to her.

"What is your problem?" Jude hissed, her eyes narrowed on him.

"If you haven't noticed, little miss innocence over there is having the Monsignor's baby. You really should be more upset with her and Father Howard than you should me," he replied.

Jude just stood there, shaking her head at his ignorance. "Are you really that blind doctor? You couldn't see that that was someone different? Or is your ego just that sensitive that any minor blow causes you close up and act like a stubborn child?" she inquired.

"Your ignorance baffles me. You believe her mere performance, most likely just an act to get us to do whatever she wants. All this time she has gone out of her way to get what she wants, to hurt those around here. And now you expect me to go over and act like I care about her? I don't think so," he venomously informed her.

Jude just smirked, disgusted with his attitude. "My ignorance? How about we step back and take a look at your's? That girl over there always defended you, always stuck up for you, and supported you. I never knew if it was just because she didn't know what you were doing or if it was because she truly admired you, but either way she never believed me when I would mention that you could be evil. She would tell me that even if you were up to something, that it had to have been something that could help the human race," she coldly stated.

"She was loyal to you for reasons that I will never understand. Now you're telling me that she was mean to you once and you decide to turn your back to her?" she implored, her voice rising.

Arthur narrowed his eyes down on her, disbelieving that she could possibly pass any judgment on him. "You don't know what she's done to me," he argued. He wasn't talking about the mere actions that the nun performed, but rather the life she stole from him. The glimmer of hope that he gave her. She was the only source of true innocence that he had in his life. It was beautiful, and it was pure. Something he had been longing for. Now, he had nothing.

"The only reason you weren't kicked out of here is because of her, because everyone trusts her when she says that someone isn't evil," Jude revealed to him. "I just want you to think of that while she's scared and needing your help while you're off pouting about something that she didn't even have control over. Because you know damn well that if she did have a choice, if she were in the right state of mind, she would have never hurt you," Jude spat before turning back and hurrying off to Mary Eunice.

Arthur just stood there, watching as Mary Eunice began to have another contraction. He had to get back over there. That baby could be born any minute.

He returned and resumed his position, checking to see how far along she was. "All right," he began. "On the next one, I'm going to ask you to push," he instructed.

Mary Eunice relaxed and looked between him and Jude. "I'm not ready," she softly cried.

"I'm here, you'll be fine," he assured her.

Mary Eunice offered him a soft smile. Jude nodded in approval. She then transferred her attention back to her.

The next few contractions came and went, each time, both Jude and Arthur offering words of comfort and encouragement. It was really all they had to offer at this point.

Once the baby was finally born, Arthur made sure that everything was fine and cut the cord. It felt like a huge waste of time though. He knew of the plan, kill the baby. He even knew that he would end up being the one to murder it.

After everything that had happened, and the fact that this baby was only going to cause pain to the one he used to admire, he wasn't so sure it completely bothered him. This baby was the reason that he had been hurt so badly, this baby was part of the reason why his innocent Mary Eunice was taken away from him.

"What's taking him so long with the baby?" Mary Eunice implored.

Jude, who was sitting beside her, looked to her, pity in her eyes. She couldn't bring herself to say anything.

Mary Eunice looked up to her. This was a different woman than the one that she had looked to around a year ago. Even if Jude wouldn't have changed, she would still have seen her as a different woman. Everyone and everything was different to Mary Eunice now. She herself had completely changed, and no one seemed to quite understand that yet. "I know you're going to kill her," she announced with tears in her eyes. "I just want to see her first."

"No you don't," Jude urged. "The last thing you need is to get connected to that baby. What he has over there isn't even really your baby anymore anyways. It's basically a lifeless body inhabited by the evil that violated you," she explained, hoping to persuade her.

"I've been with that baby for nine months now! I'm already attached. Now please! Just let me see her once," she begged, fresh tears rimming her eyes. She knew it was a girl. From the moment she conceived it, she knew.

Jude looked up to Arthur who was really just trying to wait until Mary Eunice fell asleep to do anything. "Doctor Arden?" she called. Mary Eunice did deserve to see the baby if she wanted to, after all, it wasn't like she could be hurt anymore than she already was.

Arthur turned to her with the baby in his arms. Sighing, he walked over and handed the infant to its mother. He didn't think this was a good idea either, but he wasn't about to argue. All he wanted was to get this over with.

Mary Eunice looked up to the two. "May I please have a minute alone?" she hoarsely requested.

Jude and Arthur exchanged glances before obliging and leaving the room for a moment.

Mary Eunice waited until they had completely left the room before taking a deep breath and looking down to her baby girl. She was nestled in her arms, sleeping. She looked innocent, and helpless. She couldn't bare to think of what she truly was. She was trying her hardest to remain calm, but she couldn't. The tears of pain and regret had just begun.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. Looking at her, she thought back on how she felt throughout the possession. How everything she did brought her closer to the darkness, and it scared her. She hurt those she loved, destroying lives. She was happy being innocent and naïve and now that was all gone, only to be replaced by the guilt.

This baby, if she did live, would only know that. She would only grow to know the feeling of guilt. She would have no life worth living. Mary Eunice had to keep reminding herself of that.

Her hands shifted to grasp the baby's neck. Her crying intensified. "I'm sorry!" she cried out, her grip getting tighter and tighter. The thoughts racing through her head. Memories going back to how she raped the Monsignor, how she framed Jude for the murder, and how she hurt Arthur. The feeling of hopelessness closing in on her. The constant suffering and agony.

The baby's skin began to turn blue as her eyes were bulged open, staring up to her. The baby wanted so badly to cry. Mary Eunice had to close her eyes to continue. After a moment, she opened her eyes to see her dead daughter laying in her arms.

With quivering lips, she leaned in and kissed her forehead. "I love you," she whispered before dropping her head and uncontrollably sobbing over her infant.


	12. Fallen part 1

Chapter 12: Fallen (part 1)

Arthur stepped out of Mary Eunice's room to see Jude standing out in the hallway, her arms crossed as she leaned back against the wall. "Why are you still here?" he questioned, closing the door behind him.

Jude shrugged, wearily looking to him. "I wanted to know if she was going to be okay," she casually answered.

"Do you really care that much?" he questioned.

Jude sighed. "Although I never thought I was that bad to her, I always yelled at her. I always made her feel like she was less than she was, and for some reason she still obeyed me and still looked up to me," she explained. Looking off to the side, she stared down the hall that she herself used to walk everyday. Suddenly, she felt almost nostalgic about the place now that it was to be given over to the state soon.

"She hated sinning, but if I told her to do it, she figured it was for the greater good," Jude recalled, starting to softly laugh. "She even stole your keys for me to use," she informed him, looking back to him.

"You're here because she helped you break in to my office?" he coldly asked.

"She came to me after she tried getting rid of the baby," Jude stated. "She knew what I had done, and she still looked to me. When she came to me, it was the innocent girl we knew, the one from before the possession. While she was possessed, she did treat me like shit, but it opened my eyes. It allowed me to finally taste my own poison. She was also the only person here who did forgive me right away. She had these high expectations of me by trusting me enough and thinking that I might still be a good person, I couldn't let her down," she informed him.

"So you did it for selfish reason?" Arthur quipped. He, for some reason took pleasure in knowing that she wasn't suddenly just a good person. It was a reassurance to him that not everyone changed. Maybe offer some hope that Mary Eunice could never permanently change. That someday she would go back to her old ways.

"All you wanted was to prove to yourself that you could be a good person. You used her to soothe your ego and calm your conscience," he sneered, smirking to her.

Jude tilted her head back at a slight angle, glaring to him. Part of that was right, she needed the peace. She needed to be able to walk out of here knowing that she did what ever she could to help. "You turn and run every time you realize that she's not acting like a five year girl," she harshly stated. "You were the one vicariously living through her innocence. You claim you cared about her, yet you're willing to abandon her in her time of need simply because she's different from the image of her you've created in your mind," she spat.

Jude looked down and shook her head. "No Arthur," she said, looking back up and smugly smiling. "I'm not the selfish one here," she told him.

"I abandoned her because she abandoned me," he curtly explained. He was clearly hurt by what she had said, but was going to do his best to hide it. "Now to answer your question. I sedated her. She'll wake up tomorrow morning," he said before turning and leaving.

Oooooo

Timothy sat in his nearly bare office, blankly staring towards the fire. He had just been informed that his daughter died. No one would tell him how though. It wasn't that hard to figure out, it wasn't a huge puzzle. She had been killed.

It left a bitter taste in his mouth. His thoughts went back to what Jude had told him, how the baby was evil. Maybe she was right, maybe it was, but how could any of them know for sure?

He had to do something decent though, he had to go see her. He had to go make sure that Mary Eunice was fine.

After avoiding her for the last few weeks, Timothy decided that it was time to go see her. He had been sitting there this whole time, wondering. Trying to figure out what was really going on, trying to separate reality from the madness that occupied this place.

Immediately, he got up and forced himself through the door. If he was going to see her, he had to go now. This was the only time that he knew he would be able to handle seeing her. He got to her room and knocked on the door. "Mary Eunice?" he called. Once he received an okay, he opened the door and saw Mary Eunice lying in bed. Her back was to him.

"I have been meaning to talk to you," he said, closing the door behind him. He was cautious as he approached the bed. "I wanted to apologize. I heard about the baby," he offered. He figured that she had nothing to do with the death.

The words stung her, but she managed to hide it. She tightly closed her eyes for a second before turning over and sitting up to face him. "Don't be. As far as I'm concerned, I never even had a daughter," she hoarsely explained. That baby belonged to the devil. It was never her's. She didn't lose anything back there in that operating room.

"I've also decided to leave the church," she flatly announced.

Timothy looked to her and nodded. "I'll, I'll alert Mother Superior. She'll tell you the next step," he instructed.

Mary Eunice watched him as he struggled for his next words. She could see the trace of pity in his eyes. "You don't have to feel bad. There is nothing that you could have done," she informed him. Even if his last conversation with her had hurt her, it didn't matter anymore. That was all done and over with. All she wanted to do was move on with her life.

Timothy nodded. "Is there anything that I can do now?" he offered.

Mary Eunice shook her head. "No one has to know what happened here," she told him. That was also the way that she had preferred it too. She didn't want the press getting a hold of her. This was her secret, at least, she wanted to keep it a secret. The other people here may slip something, but there was nothing here to back up their rumors.

Timothy raised an eyebrow to her. Although she was saying everything to make him think she was okay, her tone was rather cold. In a week, he was going to be out of here, never to see most of these people again in his life. He wanted to make sure he patched things up with her before he left. He might have cared about power more than anything, but he still needed something to calm his guilt.

"What will you do now?" he inquired, trying his hardest to get her to open up to him.

Mary Eunice just shrugged. She honestly had no idea, she hadn't given it too much thought yet. Jude had talked to her and told her that she didn't need to come up with anything just yet. She had offered to let her stay with her in her apartment for a little bit. She was going to take it, that way she could have a couple weeks to get herself together.

In all honesty though, she wanted to move out of the state, completely start over with a new life. Maybe while she was staying with Jude, she could make a few calls, see what was available. Maybe something up in Maine. She needed a nice quiet place. There was no way that she could make it alone in a big city.

"I'm staying with Jude for a while," she answered. "I haven't decided what to do after that."

Timothy held his hands behind his back and lowered his head. "No matter what I said, I wish you well," he stated.

Mary Eunice watched as he turned to leave. "You're forgiven," she called to him.

Timothy turned back to her. "Thank you," he said with a soft smile.

Mary Eunice returned the smiled and nodded.

Timothy then turned and continued on his way. The last time that he would ever see the young girl. He was just glad that he was able to make things okay between them.

Oooooo

Jude walked Mary Eunice into her small apartment. "It's small, but whatever," Jude said as she closed the door behind her. "It's pretty clear where everything is. You can basically see everything from where you're at," she said.

Mary Eunice just looked around the room. It wasn't as if she really cared where she was at the moment. In her mind it didn't really matter. It was just last week that she had given birth, and yet it was nine months ago that her baby had died.

"I think I just wanna lay down," Mary Eunice flatly stated. "I'll be sleeping out here on the couch?"

Jude stopped and looked to her. There was something different with the young girl, a coldness in her eyes that she didn't recognize. She saw just how hard her body was working to numb itself, to block out everything that had just happened. "You can go in the bedroom, that way I won't bother you," Jude told her, motioning in the direction of her room.

"Thank you," Mary Eunice dryly replied, turning to leave.

Jude just sighed as she went and took a seat at the kitchen table. The next couple of weeks were going to be long. She wasn't so sure that Mary Eunice would ever completely heal, and that broke her heart. It was a sad sight to see someone have to grow in the manner that she did. Mary Eunice went from naïve to happy to suddenly getting slapped in the face by the very evil she avoided. Within a year, the girl preformed every evil deed that revolted her and had to live with the consequences of someone else's actions.

Oooooo

"You really think that this is a good idea?" Mary Eunice questioned as she and Jude pulled into the driveway.

"I come here a lot, I thought that maybe you would like to join me for once," Jude explained as she turned off the ignition. She then looked over to Mary Eunice and smiled. "Besides, it's just dinner. A couple hours and we're out of here," she assured her.

Mary Eunice forced a smile to return. She had been staying with Jude for two weeks now. There was no real contact between her and anyone else from Briarcliff, and she had preferred it that way. Now, she was sitting outside of Kit's house. Not exactly where she wanted to be.

It did amaze her though that Jude kept in contact with him. It wasn't until after Grace died and Alma got arrested that she had really talked to him. Jude would go over there and help out with the kids though.

The more that Mary Eunice thought about it, it made sense. She had heard Jude mention a couple of times that she had wished she had her own children. She also knew that Jude was trying to earn her forgiveness. This suited both needs.

Little did either of them know that Jude was also truly helping Kit. She was allowing him to forgive everything that happened back in Briarcliff and move one with his life. It was going to allow him to be able to really be there for his children.

"You think you we can get out now?" Jude asked, slightly laughing.

"Sure," Mary Eunice quietly responded, her eyes glued to the house. It did look like a place that Kit would live. It suited him somehow.

It was odd how the image could both calm her and unsettle her at the same time. The house looked charming to her, it look welcoming. But, it was Kit's house. She was nervous about seeing Kit. She had done a few things to him that she knew he would be sore about and hated to have to go in there and face him. She didn't want to have to sit through the guilt and awkwardness only to leave hurt and feeling worse about everything.

The two got out of the car and approached the house together. Jude was the one to knock on the door. She had the feeling that Mary Eunice would have just stood there for a few minutes and then left claiming that he wasn't home if it were up to her.

"Hey," Kit stiffly answered as he opened the door. He knew that Mary Eunice would be accompanying Jude tonight. He wasn't so sure how he felt about it.

Jude had explained to him about the possession. It was hard for him to believe, but at the same time, it was hard for him to not be open minded to the possibility. If aliens could take his wives, why couldn't the devil take over Mary Eunice?

No matter what the reason though, he was still mad at Mary Eunice. This was the woman that got Oliver back into Briarcliff, the man that framed him and later threatened his family. That was something he wasn't so sure he would ever let go.

Mary Eunice sensed the tension and swallowed, her eyes quickly going down to the ground.

"Well, you're gonna let us in aren't ya?" Jude questioned, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah," Kit absently replied, snapping out of his deep thought. He had been thinking about things back at Braircliff. He wasn't going to dwell on it though. No, he was going to force himself to forgive and forget tonight.

Kit stepped aside, letting the two women step inside. Mary Eunice just studied her surroundings as she heard Jude and Kit start talking. She didn't really care what they were saying. She looked over and saw the two babies in a playpen together, holding themselves up on the edge. They were clearly excited by the visitors.

"They're adorable," Mary Eunice noted, smiling to the two babies. Although she was smiling, her heart ached for her own daughter.

Both Jude and Kit stopped and looked over to her. Kit had no idea about the baby yet, but he sensed the concern from Jude.

"Thanks," Kit replied.

Once Mary Eunice looked back and nodded, seemingly happy, Jude relaxed. Kit noted this, but didn't ask anything of it.

The group then sat down to dinner. Not much was really said between the three. Jude and Kit would talk about the kids, about menial things and how things were going. Mary Eunice just kind of sat there and listened in on the conversation. There were times where Jude would try to pull her into the discussion, but it didn't work out too well. She would say a few things and then go back to just listening.

After dinner, Jude offered to put the kids to bed. Mary Eunice learned that they referred to her as Nana and thought it cute. Kit let her, even though he was hesitant about it. He wasn't worried about how she handled the kids, he was worried about being left alone with Mary Eunice.

The two sat on opposite ends of the couch out in the living room. The silence remaining between them.

Mary Eunice had finally had enough of it. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Kit looked to her, seeing her head down in shame. "Thank you," he responded. He was surprised to have heard her apologize and wasn't sure on how to react.

Mary Eunice lifted her head and turned to him. "I don't know if you'll believe this, and I'm not so sure how much of an excuse it is, but I wasn't really myself," she offered.

Kit nodded. "Jude told me," he informed her. "And I think I believe it," he added, making Mary Eunice feel more at ease.

"Thank you for not completely tearing me apart when you had the chance," she responded.

"What do you mean?" he inquired, raising his brow in confusion.

"You could have turned me away at the door, and you could have been reminding me all night of everything I've done. You could have taken a few stabs at me for what I did to my baby, but you didn't. I appreciate that," she answered. She truly did. At the table he had all the chances in the world to get in a few jabs at her. It wasn't hard to make her feel bad.

"What happened with your baby?" Kit asked, his concern and interest both suddenly peaked. He turned more to face her, preparing to hear her story.

"She didn't tell you?" Mary Eunice implored.

Kit shook his head. "No. She only told me about the possession," he confirmed.

Mary Eunice sighed, preparing herself to retell her story for the first time. She leaned in closer to him, some how instantly trusting him. "I raped the Monsignor, causing me to conceive. I learned part way through the pregnancy that the Devil used me to create a child in evil. He was going to grow in that child. That's why I was finally starting to be able to fight him, because he wasn't concerned with me anymore. He was preoccupied with the baby," she hoarsely explained, fighting to maintain her composure.

She stopped to see how he was taking the story so far. Kit looked a bit taken aback, but he didn't looked repulsed yet. That was a good sign.

"When she was born, I knew what kind of life she was in for. She was going to have to deal with the constant guilt and suffering. It wouldn't even be her that would be able to live though anyways. It would be the devil. It wasn't even my daughter anymore. It was the devil," she explained, starting to sniffle. "I had to kill her to save her and everyone else, so I strangled her," she told him, her eyes watering.

Kit was speechless. He just sat there, watching her, wondering what to say or do next. In a way, he admired her, not for killing her baby, but for the strength that she had. If that truly was the right thing to do, it couldn't have been easy. If Jude were right, everything that she had gone through, none of that could have been easy on her. The fact that she was up and around, most of the night acting as if she were just fine, it amazed him.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. He didn't even receive a response from her as she blankly stared down to her lap, trying to hide the tears. Kit decided that maybe he could forgive her. It may have been wrong to forgive someone while pitying them, but seeing her now, it was different. She wasn't the same person. That couldn't have been her back at Briarcliff. "And I forgive you," he told her.

Mary Eunice's head shot up to him. "Thank you," she replied, looking to him with a sincere appreciation. She needed one less thing to constantly feel guilty about now.

1968

Jude, Mary Eunice, Kit, Thomas, and Julia all sat out in the backyard. They were celebrating the kids' birthdays. Thomas and Julia decided that they had wanted to have their birthdays on the same day now.

Kit was only sure of Thomas's real birthday. Alma was never able to tell him exactly when Julia was born so he let her decide if she wanted her's celebrated right before or right after her brother's, and he invited her to celebrate right along with his. Today, they were turning four.

"Thank you Aunt Mary!" Julia squealed upon opening her present from Mary Eunice. It was a small toy boat that she could play with in the pond.

"Your welcome," Mary Eunice replied, laughing at her excitement.

Mary Eunice got Julia a toy boat and then Thomas a bug net. Jude went ahead and them both toy cars. Jude was more concerned with Julia growing up to be strong and Thomas not needing a woman around to do menial things for him such as cook and clean. She wanted them both to be independent. And to also love their future spouses and treat them as equals. That was why she always taught them both the same things, she would make sure that they would both help out when she would bake with them. She also had Kit have both of them around when he would fix something or do any home repairs. They might have been only just turning four, but this was the time to teach them.

"Did you both get your share of cake?" Kit asked, collecting the dishes to take inside.

"Yes!" they both simultaneously answered before getting up and taking their new toys over by the pond.

"Cute aren't they?" Jude asked as she saw Mary Eunice watching them.

"Kind of makes me wish I could've kept mine," she distantly replied.

"Thank you both coming out here to help celebrate," Kit said as he returned back outside with a beer in his hand. He sat down, sighing as he looked over at the kids playing together. "They don't really have any family that's willing to acknowledge them," he stated.

"Their ignorance, their loss," Jude bitterly stated as she pulled out a cigarette. She kept her eyes down as she placed it in her mouth and lit it. She had heard that Kit and Alma's families didn't want anything to do with them. She had grown attached to these kids and it deeply disturbed her that anyone would take out their problems on the children. If the families had issues with the marriages and former living situation, they can go ahead and be upset with Kit, Alma, and Grace, but don't decide that Julia and Thomas don't exist. To her that was just cruel and petty.

"They seem to be pretty happy regardless," Mary Eunice pointed out, trying to lift the mood.

"Yeah," Kit said. He then looked at the two. "You want anything to drink?" he offered.

"Depends, what do you got?" Jude questioned, smirking after she blew a puff of smoke out of her mouth. Life to her now was basically about having as much fun as she possibly could.

Kit caught onto the smirk. "You know about the gift from Lenny," he stated.

Jude nodded.

"What happened?" Mary Eunice implored. She was completely lost, and hated feeling that way.

"Lenny got married last weekend and since I was the best man he gave me all the liquor that was left," he informed her.

"Oh, I don't drink," Mary Eunice told him.

Jude looked over to her. "Do you not drink by choice? Or only because you don't know how to?" she questioned.

Mary Eunice looked to her with confusion. "There's a certain way to do it?" she asked. This was news to her. She figured that people drank alcohol like they would anything else.

Jude stood up and dropped her cigarette to the ground. "Shall we?" she asked, looking to Kit.

"Sure," he answered, looking to Mary Eunice with concern. He wasn't so sure that she could even handle a single drink.

The three headed inside and Jude sat down next to Mary Eunice at the table. "Two shots of tequila, two lemon slices, and salt please," Jude ordered. She then looked over to Mary Eunice. "I figured we should start out with something that you're familiar with," she stated.

Mary Eunice slightly glared to her. Coming from anyone else, that would have hurt, but she knew that Jude didn't quite mean it that way. "Are you sure I won't get sick?" she inquired. The thought of tequila was just starting to make her sick to her stomach.

"You'll be fine," Jude assured her.

Kit took the supplies over to the table and joined them. "What are the lemon slices and salt for?" he questioned. He had done shots of tequila before, but he always just took the shot straight.

"Pour all three shots and I'll show you," Jude instructed. She reached over and grabbed the salt shaker. "Now, what you're going to do is lick your wrist and then put a small amount of salt on it," she instructed before demonstrating.

Mary Eunice was handed the salt shaker and cautiously did the same thing. So far, this wasn't so bad. She then handed Kit the salt who did the same thing.

"Now," Jude began as she handed out the lemon slices. "Real quick, you're going to lick the salt off your wrist, take the shot and then bite the lemon. Got it?" she asked.

"Yeah," Kit answered. He thought it sounded good.

Both then looked over to Mary Eunice who looked unsure of herself. "I'm ready," she said.

Jude laughed. "All right," she started, picking up her glass and holding it up, getting the other two to do the same. "To finally finding some happiness," Jude said.

All three licked their wrists and then threw back the alcohol in their mouths. As Jude and Kit were biting down on their lemon slices, they looked over and noticed Mary Eunice trying to finish the rest of her shot with out gagging.

Jude removed her lemon slice and tapped Mary Eunice's shoulder. "Just bite the lemon. It's fine," she assured her.

Mary Eunice quickly grabbed the slice and bit down on it without paying attention. Some lemon juice squirted out, hitting Kit on the shoulder and causing him to laugh.

"Good aim," he joked.

Jude checked on Mary Eunice, noticing that she looked like she was about to vomit. "You need a chaser? Pop or water?" she offered, her hand on her friend's back.

Mary Eunice shook her head. "No, I wanna try again. Something different though," she said. It wasn't that she thought she would prefer the taste of something else, she had just heard Jude mention that she liked to drink because it would help her to forget. Mary Eunice figured that if she had made it this far, why not be able to forget? She would love to have a night where she didn't remember what she had done, even if she did wake up sick the next day.

"I don't think you should," Jude warned. "You don't look too good as it is, and you didn't even finish the first shot."

"What else do you got?" Mary Eunice asked, looking to Kit.

Jude sighed, shrugging to Kit. Who was she to stop someone from drinking? "You got anything easier to get down?"

"How do you feel about vodka?" he suggested.

"Sure," Mary Eunice responded, taking a deep breath. She had to get herself ready for the next shot. Now that she knew what to expect, it had to be easier from here. At least, that was how she felt about it.

Oooooo

Only a few hours had passed and it was night time. Jude lay on the bed in the guest bedroom. She knew that there was no way that she could drive herself anywhere. As she laid there, she had her arms around the children, one on each side of her.

"Nana?" Thomas asked.

"Yes?" Jude groggily questioned.

"Are you daddy's mommy?" he asked.

Jude just laughed with amusement. "Nah. I was just the one who punished him yeas ago," she answered without thinking much of it.

"Are you a mommy?" Julia asked.

Jude sighed. That was the one thing that she had wanted to be, but never got the chance. "No," she flatly answered. "My pathetic excuse for a fiancee took that chance away from me," she told them.

"What?" Thomas questioned, looking to her with confusion.

Jude looked between the two, offering each a smile. "I never want you two to ever have any regrets. You hear? I want you two to grow up smart, and happy. Don't throw away your lives like I did mine," she stated.

"What happened?" Julia implored. Neither she nor her brother really knew where Jude was going with this.

"Well," Jude began, sighing. "Let's see, I grew up not thinking I was much use for anything cus no one took me seriously. I got engaged, and then that didn't work out so I became a singer. Then some shit happened and I became a nun, then more shit happened and a few more shitty things. I got out and started helping your father with you two and here I am," she flatly informed them.

"Shit happened?" Julia asked, not knowing what that meant exactly.

Jude started laughing. "Yes!" she answered. "Did you two know that it's a free country and you two can say what ever you want as long as you're not hurting anyone?"

"I don't want to hurt anyone," Thomas announced.

"Good," Jude responded. "There's enough pain in the world as it is. We don't need to cause any more," she said.

Outside, Mary Eunice and Kit sat together by the pond. They were staring at the reflection of the moon in the small area of water.

"You ever wonder how one tiny little decision can change everything?" Mary Eunice asked, leaning her head on his shoulder.

Kit nodded. "Sometimes," he admitted. "Then other times, I guess I don't care," he added.

"I'll always care," Mary Eunice said. "I'm always afraid that I made the wrong decision," she told him, starting to cry.

Kit turned and embraced her. "I think you made the right one," he assured her.

Mary Eunice, even though upset at the moment, enjoyed being in his arms. It was warm and comforting. She instantly felt safe, something that hadn't truly felt in a while. "Thank you," she responded.

"No, don't thank me for just telling you something," he replied. "I, I just told ya what ya already know," he stated, starting to slur his words.

Mary Eunice pulled back from him, staring directly into his eyes. She was touched by his words. At the moment, it hadn't occurred to her that the alcohol could be playing a role in her current attraction. It didn't really matter to her. She needed to show him that he meant a lot to her. She leaned in and planted a kiss on his lips.

Kit felt her begin to pull back, but didn't want it to end. Instead, he gently grabbed her cheeks, securing her position as he deepened the kiss.

After a moment, he finally pulled back to see Mary Eunice blushing. "You wanna go inside?" he offered, pointing back to the house.

"I don't think I can make it. You might as well ask me to drive back to my place," Mary Eunice confessed, laughing.

"I'll help ya," Kit said. He stood up and offered her his hands. Mary Eunice obliged and held onto them, pulling herself up with his assistance. Once on her feet, Kit wrapped his arms around her and started slowly guiding her back to the house. Mary Eunice though, did not make it far before stumbled and fell to the ground, laughing at her current condition.

"I'm sorry, I really am," she laughed.

"You know what, we don't need the house," Kit said as he sat next to her. He then leaned over and started kissing her neck.

Mary Eunice started laughing even harder. "I, I remember this one time, that, that Jude, she was Sister Jude. She, she told me that sweets lead to sin," she informed him. "Did we have anything sweet today?"

Kit sat back up and started laughing. "We had cake," he answered, beginning to laugh. "That must be what got us messed up!" he announced.

"I think we need more," she told him.

"Fine," Kit said as he stood up and looked to her. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes," he told her, causing her to laugh even harder. Kit clumsily walked back to the house and entered in the back door. He grabbed a piece of cake and decided to check in on the kids. Once they weren't in their room, he went and checked the guest room.

"What have you got there?" Jude immediately questioned upon seeing the cake.

"Daddy's got cake Nana," Thomas answered.

"Sweets lead to sin Sister," Kit stated, starting to laugh.

"You're mocking me," Jude replied with a smirk. She remembered telling Mary Eunice that, and did find it funny.

"Actually it's Sister Mary Eunice that's mocking you, you're prized holy one," he corrected her. "You want me to bring her in here so you can cane her?" he jokingly offered.

Jude was not amused with that last line, but it didn't bother her too much. "Just go and have fun," she instructed, wanting to get rid of him before he said anything else.

"Will do," he said before leaving.

"What's caning?" Julia asked. It sounded scary to her, almost like something a monster would do.

"I don't really know," Jude lied, not wanting to get into her painful times.

Kit stepped outside to find Mary Eunice laying on her back in the grass. "You okay?" he questioned. The fact that he saw no movement brought instant concern.

"I think so!" she responded.

Kit sighed in relief and went and sat next to her. "You're pretty in the dark. You know that?" he questioned, not clearly understanding what he was implying.

Mary Eunice smiled. "You don't look half bad in the dark either," she returned what she truly thought was a compliment at the time. "You can even kiss me again."

"I'll take that invitation," he said, smugly smiling as he climbed on top of her and started kissing her neck again.

oooooo

About six weeks had passed and Mary Eunice, with a smile on her face, climbed the couple steps on the front porch and knocked on the door.

"Hello," Thomas greeted as he opened the door from atop his little stool.

Mary Eunice smiled to him. He always looked so serious, deep in thought. It was like he was considering everything around him and observing it. "Hi Thomas. How are you doing?" she questioned. It felt weird calling a little four year old Thomas, but Tommy just didn't suit him.

Thomas just nodded with a small smile forming.

Mary Eunice returned the smile and picked him up as she entered the house. "Did you do anything fun today?" she asked as she walked around, looking for Kit.

"Nana come and dance," he answered. His head perked up, keeping alert as they slowly traveled from room to room.

Mary Eunice softly laughed. She thought it was cute how the kids had grown attached to Jude. She was well aware that Jude was over here when ever she could be, and that was a lot.

Mary Eunice was about to ask where Kit was, but saw him through the window. He was outside with Julia. She went ahead out to the back yard and saw the two sitting on the ground by a baby rabbit. "What's going on here?" she questioned.

Kit looked up and smiled. "Julia found a baby rabbit. I just wanted to make sure that she knew not to touch it," he explained as he stood.

"That way her mommy won't leave her when she comes back," Julia announced, a huge smile on her face as she looked to Mary Eunice. She was often proud of every little thing she learned.

"We wouldn't want her mommy leaving her would we?" Mary Eunice responded. The image of her dead infant in her arms coming back to her. She bit her lip as she forced the images back out of her mind.

Kit noticed the pause and decided to start the conversation. "Did you need something?" he questioned, finding it odd that she would come unannounced. He didn't mind it, it just worried him.

As a matter of fact, he was happy that she came. Ever since they spent the night together, he had felt there was an awkwardness between the two. They had both made it clear that they just wanted to be friends, and that things were fine between them. It was after that night though that she stopped coming over as much.

"I just wanted to talk, you know, catch up a bit," she assured him. She didn't want to tell him that they needed to talk. That might get him nervous and she wanted him to be as calm as possible. She needed to tell him that she was pregnant.

The only reason that she wasn't nervous herself was because she knew that Kit was open minded. She also knew that he would be there for her and the baby. He clearly cared about everyone. To her, he was more innocent than she ever was. Her innocence was marked by her naïve view of the world, her unguarded trust. She was sweet, and caring, but also completely scared if she even thought she did something wrong. She was a little child. Kit on the other hand, was mature. He saw the world, but he knew it was wrong. He was able to step up and do what was right. He never wished to do the wrong thing.

"Sure," he replied. He was just relieved to find that everything was okay.

Mary Eunice set Thomas down by Julia and followed as Kit lead the way to the back door. It was as soon as he opened the door for her that Mary Eunice felt a little apprehensive. She went ahead and took a seat at the kitchen table, reminding herself that she didn't need to worry.

"Want anything?" he offered before joining her.

"No thank you," she politely turned down the offer. If anything, she wanted to just get this over with. She hated keeping something a secret. Especially something like this.

Kit nodded and then took a seat. "So how have you been?" he inquired.

This would have been the perfect time to have told Kit, but Mary Eunice wanted to work her way up to the announcement. She wanted to talk a bit, find out what was going on with him first. In her mind, she needed things to be close to perfect for the moment that she informed him on his becoming a father again. After everything that went wrong with the first baby, this was her chance to finally enjoy becoming a mother.

"Great," she answered. "I've been keeping myself busy with work." Mary Eunice stopped for a second before asking him the very same question.

"I'm doing great too," he answered, letting out a soft laugh. "I'm actually thinking about asking someone to marry me," he announced.

Mary Eunice's heart suddenly dropped. The very mention of marriage had caught her off guard. Her smile threatened to leave her face, but she made sure to keep a fake one plastered on herself. "I didn't know you were seeing someone," she said.

"Yeah. Her name's Katherine. I met her a little over a month ago," he explained. To most people, only knowing someone for about a month wasn't enough. To him though, he knew. The feelings were already present. He wanted to marry this girl.

"Congratulations," she forced, feigning happiness. She couldn't tell him now. Kit was ready to move on from Grace and Alma. He was getting ready to try again with another woman. He was happy, and she couldn't bare to be the one to ruin it. Mary Eunice had done enough damaged back at Briarcliff.

Mary Eunice had to quickly grab at something to change the subject. It had to be subtle though. "Do Thomas and Julia like her?" she inquired as casually as she muster.

Kit nodded. "They seem to get along pretty well," he replied.

"Well that's good," Mary Eunice responded, desperately clinging onto her fake smile. "How have they been anyways? It's been a little bit since I've been over here," she asked. Little did she know though that this was the question that was going to make her sit uncomfortably at the table for twenty more minutes while she choked back her tears.


	13. Fallen part 2

Chapter 13: Fallen (part 2)

Jude stood before the mirror in her apartment as she tried to decide how she looked in her red dress. It was just a simple long sleeve dress that came down to her knees. She was invited to dinner tonight and wanted to look nice.

"Coming!" she cheerfully called as soon as she heard a knock at the door. She took one last glance at herself before going to get the door. She was hoping it was her date to pick her up for tonight. Maybe he got there a bit early.

"Mary Eunice?" she asked with concern, her happiness visibly fading. The girl stood out in the hallway crying, hugging her purse as if it were a security blanket.

"I need to talk to you," Mary Eunice announced, rushing past the woman. She didn't stop to notice that Jude was getting ready. She was only concerned with the fact that she needed to talk to someone and get the problem cleared up somehow.

Jude quickly stepped aside, watching Mary Eunice enter. She did have to get going in a little bit, but she knew that this was pretty important. "What happened?" she asked, closing the door. Her eyes were glued on her, wondering what could have gotten her so shaken.

Mary Eunice sat down on the couch, desperately looking to Jude. "I don't want to raise a child alone," she cried, nearing the sobbing that she used to do.

Jude looked to her for a second as if she were crazy. "Oh," she said, figuring out what was happening. She remembered waking up in Kit's house and finding the two together out by the pond the next morning. "You're in trouble," she stated, starting to worry about her. Considering that the only reason Mary Eunice allowed herself to get that close to Kit that night was because of the alcohol, Jude felt a little at fault.

Mary Eunice nodded. At the moment, she was just relieved that she didn't have to explain the entire situation to her. She still felt embarrassed talking about it.

"Does he not want it?" Jude questioned. She found it odd that Kit would turn anyone away. Surely there had to be a misunderstanding here.

Mary Eunice shrugged. "I don't know," she confessed. "I never told him."

"Why not?" Jude quickly asked. "You don't know that you have to raise it alone until he says he doesn't want it. If he hasn't said that, consider him a part of the picture."

"He's wanting to get engaged to Katherine," she said through her tears. Mary Eunice dropped her head into her hands. "I don't want to be the one to step in and ruin things," she explained.

Jude slowly walked over to her, nodding. "So, you think that telling Kit about his baby will completely ruin everything?" she asked, not really seeing the logic here. This was Kit, the man who took in both wives so that he could be a father to both babies.

"Yes," Mary Eunice whimpered, lifting her head. "He wouldn't want a baby around with his fiancee."

Jude knelt down on the ground before Mary Eunice. "Now I want you to listen to me. You hear?" she firmly requested, receiving a nod. "You have two choices. You can either go back to his house and tell him, or you can accept the fact that you are going to be raising a child on your own," she told her.

Mary Eunice wiped her face with the back of her sleeve. "I guess I'll be raising it alone," she replied with a sniffle.

Jude raised an eyebrow to her. Maybe she didn't know this girl as well as she thought. She figured that she would have been on her way back to see Kit. "Now, I understand that you're scared, but you have to remember, you fought the devil. You're strong enough to handle taking care if a baby. I'll be here if you need help, but I don't want see any more tears over being on your own. You know better than that," she explained before standing. "You need to give yourself more credit."

"You really think I can do it?" she implored.

Jude laughed. "You're going to have to," she told her. "You're the one making the choice of not telling him. Besides, you're a strong girl. I'm sure you can handle it."

"I hope so," Mary Eunice responded with a smile, more to convince herself than Jude.

1969

The autumn months quickly gave way to winter, and soon enough, spring had arrived. Six months had passed since Mary Eunice had last seen Kit, or even talked to him. To her, it was better that all contact be cut.

It had hurt Mary Eunice to ignore him and his kids like she had been, but it was needed. She needed to be able to take care of herself now and prepare to become a mother while Kit needed his time with Katherine. It was only right.

At seven months pregnant, Mary Eunice sat in front of the open window in the living room of her apartment. She had just gotten home from the small flower shop that she worked at a little while ago and was now reflecting on what the other's had said of her.

She had over heard a small conversation, one between the two other girls on her shift. The one, Lisa, had suggested that they all get together and throw her a baby shower. Phyllis on the other hand, disagreed. She stated that Mary Eunice was just a little tramp who got herself in trouble and didn't deserve the help.

It hurt her, but she wasn't so sure that she cared anymore. She had to look out for her baby. There were more important things in her life right now than worrying about whether or not the other people here liked her. That was a first in her life. After all this time of needing someone to accept her, it just didn't seem as important anymore.

She could remember being an outcast back in school. She would sit alone at lunch time. Other's would talk about her, how weird and annoying she was. She was a goody two shoes and no one wanted to be with her.

Now, she had one person in her life that actually cared, and that was enough. As far as she was concerned, that was all she needed. Phyllis could hurt her as much as she wanted, but at the end of the day, it just did not matter. She wasn't about to try and torture herself anymore just to get someone to like her.

She was brought out of her thoughts as she heard a knock at the door. "Come in!" she called, not wanting to move from her seat.

Jude opened the door and stepped into the living room. "I just got back from seeing Kit," she announced, cautiously closing the door behind her. It was obvious that Mary Eunice did not want to talk about him, but she really did think that she ought to tell him about the baby. Not to get money or pity from him or anything like that, but simply to let him know that he didn't chase her away. He was going through a rough time, and hearing that would help him.

Besides, she figured that Mary Eunice could use another friend. She had heard other people talk about her. Whether it be in the building that Mary Eunice lived in, or the shop she worked at, she would hear people talk.

Mary Eunice just hummed. Her eyes distantly staring out the window. Honestly, she missed him. That was why it was going to be hard to talk about him.

Jude noted her response and went and took a seat on the couch. "He asked about you. I told him you were just fine," she informed her. Once Jude saw Mary Eunice quickly look to her, she held her hand up. "He doesn't know about the baby," she assured her.

Mary Eunice nodded. "How are Thomas and Julia?" she flatly implored.

"They miss ya," Jude answered. That was true. They had both asked Jude about Mary Eunice a couple of times. She felt bad just telling them she was busy, but it was all that she could think to tell them. At the same time though, she felt as if they already knew what was going on with Mary Eunice. They seemed to have this distant look as if they knew she were lying. Thomas appeared to be more understanding, but then again he always looked so serious. It was hard to tell if he was happy or not at times.

"And Kit?" Mary Eunice forced herself to ask. It was hard enough hearing about the kids, now she figured that she should see how Kit was doing.

"He's fine," Jude hoarsely lied. If she could keep a promise to Mary Eunice to keep her condition a secret, then surely she could keep her mouth shut about Kit's current situation.

It bothered Jude. If Kit and Mary Eunice both knew what was going on in the other person's life, they would each do anything to be there for them. It was in each of their natures to do that. Yet, neither of them wanted anyone to know what was going on with them.

Jude had no problem being there Mary Eunice. She could handle answering a phone call in the middle of the night just to hear about the latest thing to cause the ever emotional girl to cry. Jude had gotten calls at two in the morning with Mary Eunice crying to her about how she ran out of orange juice or that she misplaced a pillowcase. Jude had also gone out and gotten a few things for her, such as orange juice. She just felt that Kit should have been the one doing all of this. He should have been the one that Mary Eunice called, the one there when the baby kicked the first time, the one going shopping with Mary Eunice for baby supplies. She was taking Kit's spot and she didn't like that.

On the other hand, Jude also had no problem being there for Kit. His fiancee had just left him. She left him feeling like he could never get a new wife. Kit really loved Katherine and she left him without even saying good bye. All she left was a simple note explaining that she felt ignored by him and needed to leave. That along with Mary Eunice giving him the cold shoulder, made him feel like it was all his fault. This was where Mary Eunice could step in and help. She could be over there telling him that it's not his fault, that Katherine just wasn't the one for him. She should be the one over there letting him know that it would be all right.

"That's good," Mary Eunice replied, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. She didn't want him over there suffering. The fact that they were all doing fine made her feel better about everything. It almost made her feel like she made the right decision.

"Yeah," Jude sighed. Clearly she wasn't going to get Mary Eunice to see what she was doing was wrong without coming out and telling her what happened to Kit. It wasn't her place though. She had to let them choose when to talk to the other.

Oooooo

Jude sat in the rocking chair with week old Lily Anne McKee as Mary Eunice folded the baby's clothing.

"She sure is beautiful," Jude commented.

Mary Eunice smiled to herself. "I know," she replied. This was the first time in a while that she had been happy.

As soon as she was done folding, she turned back and saw Jude just watching Lily. "You think we'll be alright?" she softly implored.

"Of course you will," Jude answered as if it were the apparent answer. She then looked up to Mary Eunice. "And just remember, if she ever starts turning out like I did, you let me know. I have no problem going back and getting one of my canes."

Mary Eunice softly laughed. "I thought that was all behind you," she said.

"There's a difference between punishing someone for something they can't help and knocking some sense into someone who's completely aware. Besides, a red bottom will heal, getting used and left by a man you thought cared about you, that stays with you forever," she explained, adverting her eyes from Mary Eunice.

Mary Eunice suddenly felt sorry her. She wasn't going to show it though. Jude wasn't one for pity. "I'll remember that," she assured her. She then walked over and took her infant daughter in her arms. "It's getting time to feed her now," she softly stated.

Jude nodded, leaving her seat. "Let me know if you need anything," she said before leaning over and giving her a hug from the side. "And congratulations."

"Thank you," Mary Eunice replied.

The young girl waited until she was alone with Lily before she sat down in the rocking chair. She smiled upon seeing her baby stare to her with big blue eyes. "Hi Lily!" she cheerfully greeted. "How is mommy's little angel?" she softly inquired, running her hand through the tiny amount of fuzzy hair that was present on Lily's head.

The smile quickly faded. "I do have to thank you though," she whispered. "Before you I would have nights where I wasn't so sure I wanted to wake up the next day. You've given me a reason to keep going," she told her with fresh tears beginning to form in her eyes.

Mary Eunice noticed that Lily started to fuss and quickly dried her eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispered as she prepared to feed her.

1971

Mary Eunice carried two year old Lily into the flower shop with her. Jude usually watched her, but she was feeling a little under the weather today, and neither of them wanted Lily getting sick.

"Awe! Is this Lily?" Lisa asked as she grabbed her coat.

Mary Eunice walked up and set Lily down on the counter. "Yes it is," she beamed, knowing that Lisa was the only one there that didn't look down on her for being a single mother. "Can you say hi Lily?"

Lily cautiously looked to Lisa with wide eyes. "Hi," she softly greeted, barely audible.

Lisa laughed, turning her attention to Mary Eunice. "She's adorable," she told her as she started to put her coat on.

Mary Eunice was about to thank her, but the smile faded. "You're leaving?" she nervously inquired.

Lisa sighed, looking to her with sympathy. "I gotta get home. My son had the day off of school and Tony's gotta go into the office today," she informed her. "I'm sorry."

Mary Eunice nodded with understanding. "It's okay," she said, even though she hated the idea of being without Lisa today. That meant that she was going to be stuck with Phyllis and probably Heather.

"Ya sure about that?" Lisa asked, beginning to smirk.

Mary Eunice forced a fake smile as she nodded.

"All right," Lisa replied, laying her hand on Mary Eunice's shoulder. "Let me know if you need me to come back down. I'll show them who's who around here," she offered.

"Thank you, I will," Mary Eunice assured her.

"Good," Lisa responded. She took her hand back and started for the door. "Show those bitches that you can hold your own!" she instructed on her way out the door.

Mary Eunice kept her back to the door as she offered a half smile to Lily. "You think today will be a long day?" she inquired.

Lily just nodded out of habit. She really had no idea what her mother was asking her. If anything, she was more consumed by her brand new surroundings.

"What? Do we all have to watch the bastard now?" Phyllis sneered as she came to the counter from the back room.

Mary Eunice tightly closed her eyes and let out a heavy sigh. To her dismay, Phyllis was still there when she reopened her eyes. "Her name is Lily," she firmly corrected.

Phyllis smugly smiled as she crossed her arms. "Whore, slut, and tramp are all different names, but they all refer to the fact that you sleep around," she snidely remarked.

"You only have to sleep with one man once to get pregnant," Mary Eunice wearily replied. All she wanted to do was get behind the counter and wait for the next customer. She knew that today was going to be a slow day though, it was a Monday. To most people, that would have been a good thing. To Mary Eunice though, all it meant was that Phyllis had more time to come up front and harass her.

"Hey, I'm just saying, you were the one irresponsible enough to get yourself in trouble. You were dumb enough to sleep with a man who would leave you alone. Not many girls can screw up their lives like you just did," Phyllis stated, watching her closely to see if she were getting a rise from her.

Mary Eunice tried to ignore her as she picked Lily back up and walked around to the other side of the counter. She set Lily down on the ground behind the counter and gave her a couple of toys to play with.

"Hey! Phyl! I need your help!" Heather called as she rushed up to the counter. She froze as soon as she saw Phyllis's eyes narrowed on Mary Eunice. She didn't even have to ask what was going on here.

Phyllis didn't even notice Heather's presence in the room. "Face it, you could be doing so much better without her here. As far as I'm concerned, you would have been better off smothering her right away," she told her.

Mary Eunice quickly wheeled to face Phyllis. There was a fury in her eyes that neither of the two women even knew existed within her. "How dare you?" she asked through clenched teeth, her face tuning beat red. Her eyes were starting to tear up, but she was able to keep from crying.

"Don't you ever say that again!" she screamed, storming towards the woman. She heard Lily crying, but ignored it for the time being. "I don't care how much better than me you think you are! But if you ever tell me that I should have killed my baby again! I swear that you'll wish you weren't even alive to endure the consequences!" she yelled, getting into Phyllis's face.

Mary Eunice stepped back and caught her breath, attempting to calm herself. She could see the shock in Phyllis's face and took that as the sign that she had gotten through to her. "I'm sorry baby," she said, turning and rushing to calm her daughter.

Heather and Phyllis just stood there, dumbfounded at the scene they just witnessed. "W-what were you going to ask me?" Phyllis asked, keeping her eyes on Mary Eunice who was currently on the ground cradling her toddler.

"Nothing," Heather answered before turning and leaving the room.

oooooo

Mary Eunice lay there in bed, Phyllis's words going through her head. Somehow, that woman knew exactly what to say to strike a nerve. _"As far as I'm concerned, you would have been better off smothering her right away." _

She lay there in the silence, tightly hugging the extra pillow. She was on the verge of sobbing, but did her best to repress it. Getting herself worked up in the middle of the night was not going to solve anything.

The only thing that brought her any comfort was the fact that Lily was happy and healthy. It was proof that she was able to do one thing right in her life.

Slowly, Mary Eunice sat up and looked over to the clock. It was three in the morning. That meant that Lily should be pretty sound asleep. Good. She got out of bed and carefully headed to her daughter's room where she opened the door. She didn't say anything, she just watched her for a moment. Lily looked so peaceful to her. In a way, it stirred some jealousy in her. This little girl could sleep so well because of her innocence. She hasn't done anything wrong yet, and if she had, she wouldn't have known it. The world had yet to reveal to her how much evil truly exists.

Mary Eunice was about to turn and leave, but heard Lily begin to stir. "Mommy?"

"I'm sorry honey, I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep," Mary Eunice gently instructed. She was once again, going to try to leave the room, but heard Lily start to whimper. "What is it Lily?" she implored, turning back to her.

"Stay!" the little girl demanded. She didn't like being left alone in the dark.

Mary Eunice softly smiled as she came up with an idea. "How would you like to spend the night in mommy's room?" she offered. As soon as she saw Lily put her arms up to be lifted, she walked over and grabbed her.

"Here we are," Mary Eunice announced upon their entrance to the dark room. She went and sat down on the edge of the bed, making sure that Lily would be placed in the center of the bed.

As she sat up in bed though, Lily decided to crawl over and sit on her lap. "Lobe you momma," Lily said before kissing her mother's cheek. It wasn't really at this point, it was more like Lily just smacking her lips.

Mary Eunice returned kiss on the toddler's forehead. "Love you too honey," she gently replied. She then wrapped her arms around Lily, who was snuggling up to her. "I don't care what anyone says about you. You're my little angel in disguise."

Angel in disguise. That was what she truly thought of her daughter. This little girl gave her something to live for. She was the only thing that made the idea of suicide seem selfish.

1972

Jude sat at the table as she helped Lily to color a picture as Mary Eunice rushed around the apartment to get ready for work.

"Gammy! No!" Lily shrieked, putting her hand down on the paper. "You can't use that color!"

Jude repressed her laughter as she held up the green crayon. "What do you mean I can't color the grass green?" she implored. "I don't tell ya what colors you can and can't use."

"Didn't ya know it snowed?" Lily questioned, looking to her as if she should know these things.

Jude looked down at the picture. It was a park scene that said "Summertime" underneath it. "No, I'm sorry. I guess they forgot to tell me," she offered as she set the crayon back in the box. She exchanged it for a blue one. "Better?" she asked, showing it to Lily.

Lily just sighed. Blue was supposed to be used for water, and this lady wanted to use it for snow. She needed to teach her how to color if they were going to keep sharing pictures.

"Listen kid, it's either blue or I color it black. Your choice," Jude flatly stated. She really didn't care what color Lily wanted her to use, she just wanted to tease her. An important key fact that she was forgetting was that this was Mary Eunice's daughter. Julia would have laughed and Thomas would have challenged her. This was Lily though.

Lily sat there, staring at her as her lip started to quiver. Before Jude could tell her that she was just kidding, the little girl started bawling, causing Jude to instantly feel bad.

"What's wrong honey?" Mary Eunice questioned as she rushed past her to the counter.

"Wrong color," Jude answered. "Apparently she really is just like her mother," she remarked, taking a small jab at Mary Eunice's habitual sobbing before she was possessed.

"Right," Mary Eunice sighed as she dumped her purse out on the counter surface. She was too busy to even take notice to the comment. Currently, she was already running late and missing her car keys. "Have either of you seen my keys?" she asked as she threw everything back into her purse.

Jude, who was busy trying to calm the girl, looked up to Mary Eunice. "Nope," she answered.

"I, I," Lily sobbed.

Mary Eunice mentally kicked herself for forgetting. Lily had a habit of hiding her keys to try and keep her from leaving. The only problem was that Lily, like herself, had a hard time lying. With a smile on her face, she turned and looked to her daughter. "Lily? Where did you put them?" she gently inquired.

"Clo-closet," she sobbed in response.

"Thank you hun," Mary Eunice replied, stopping to hug her on her way to check her bedroom closet.

"So kid, what color you want me to use?" Jude implored. She could see that her little crying spell was beginning to pass and decided to finally end it.

"Purple," she whimpered.

She grabbed the purple from the box and distinctly held it up for Lily to see. "Better now?" she questioned.

Lily just nodded as she continued coloring the flower with her red crayon.

1974

Mary Eunice walked into the room with her five year old daughter, Lily. This was the first time that she might encounter anyone that she had left about six years ago. The only person that she had seen within those six years was Jude, and that was the very person that she had come to pay her respects to today.

Lily tightly clung to her mother as they entered into the small crowd of people there for the showing. It wasn't a Catholic funeral, just a small ceremony. Most likely, these people here were the ones that she had made friends with at work, maybe a couple relatives that she had managed to keep in touch with.

Cautiously, they both approached the casket. "Say bye bye to Grammy," Mary Eunice instructed as she picked up the little girl.

"Bye bye Grammy," Lily said before blowing her a kiss.

Mary Eunice smiled to her daughter before looking back down to Jude. "Thanks for everything," she softly said with a smile. "Good bye."

Mary Eunice turned to leave, but stopped as soon as she heard her name being called. She wheeled around to see Kit standing there, his two children at his side. "Kit," she whispered.

Kit just smiled to her. He looked over to Lily with curiosity. While he was happy for Mary Eunice that she got a little girl after what she had gone through, he was hurt that she had hid this from him. "Who's this?" he questioned.

"Lily," Mary Eunice carefully answered, looking to the girl as she rested her head on her mother's shoulder. "She's five now."

Kit's smile faded. It suddenly made sense to him now why she had left. There was no other reason for her to have hid this from him. "I see," he sighed, averting his eyes and looking down towards the ground.

Mary Eunice suddenly felt a pang of guilt. "Kit," she began, although she really had no idea what to say at this point. "I'm sorry," she blurted.

Kit just nodded. "Yeah," he said, looking back up to her. "So am I," he flatly added.

Mary Eunice sighed, her eyes watering as she watched him turn his back to her, heading to the other side of the room. "Kit, please," she called to him. "I want to talk to you," she informed him, getting him to at least stop. "Give me the chance to explain," she pleaded.

Kit turned and looked to her for a moment. "All right," he sighed. He looked down to his kids. "You think you two can stay here for a minute?" he requested. He received a nod from each of them.

Mary Eunice was about to just take Lily with her, but she spotted a familiar face in the crowd. Lana. She stood in the back of the room, her sunglasses on as she appeared to just be staring straight ahead. Her hands were casually in the pockets of her jacket. "I'll be right back," she stated before heading over to Lana.

"Ms. Winters?" she asked. Mary Eunice still did not feel right calling her Lana.

Lana looked to her and removed her glasses. "Mary Eunice?" she questioned. It may have been a long time, but she still remembered her. There was no way that she would ever forget. She was still leery of her though, even after knowing what happened.

"Yes," Mary Eunice replied. A silence followed. This was the first time the two had seen each other since Mary Eunice had helped her to sneak back into Briarcliff. "I'm sorry," she said, feeling as if she were saying that too much today.

Lana nodded. "It's all done and over with," she coldly replied, putting on her glasses. She was still somewhat sore over her actions. It would take a little while to be able to bring herself to just completely forgive her. It wasn't as if they had been talking to each other and she were able to prove to Lana that she was sorry. It wasn't like with Jude where she had went out of her way to make up for it.

Lana then looked to Lily. "This can't be," she said, motioning to the little girl.

"No," Mary Eunice responded, looking towards the ground, her eyes full of shame. She forced herself to look back up to Lana. "This is Lily," she introduced.

Lana saw the question hurt her and decided to let it go. "I didn't keep mine either. I gave him up for adoption," she explained.

Mary Eunice forced a smile. It was better to let her think that's what really happened. "Anyways," she began. "Would you mind watching her for a few minutes? I need to talk to Kit alone," she implored.

Lily heard the request and instantly tightened her hold on her mother. She was finally comfortable in this place. There was no way that she was going to allow herself to be left with this strange woman. She needed her mommy.

Lana didn't really want to. She didn't know Mary Eunice that well and she just met the little girl. She also didn't want any unwanted attention here, something that children tend to bring upon themselves and whoever happens to be watching them at the time.

At the same time though, she really liked Kit and would have done it for him. He was the one that was there for her at the end of her stay at Briarcliff. The fact that he was mentioned was the only reason that she was about to accept. "All right," she accepted.

"Thanks," Mary Eunice replied with a smile. She knelt down and gently removed the girl's arms from around her neck. "It's okay Lily," she soothed. "I know her. She won't hurt you. I promise," she comforted before planting a small kiss on her forehead.

Lily looked up to the woman, trying to decide whether or not she trusted her. She didn't seem mean, but she didn't seem real nice either. It was when she looked back and saw her mother walking away that she started to feel scared.

Lily lifted her head, staring to Lana with big blue eyes. There was nothing to say, so she just remained quiet.

"Your mom will be back in a minute," Lana told her. It didn't work though, the little girl kept watching her. It was starting to make her nervous.

Oooooo

Mary Eunice and Kit just walked together in silence as they looked for a place to be alone. They walked to the opposite end of the parking lot, to the edge where there was a small distance of grass and then a small wooded area.

"Look," Mary Eunice started.

Kit held up his hand. He knew that she was about to start on some long explanation. He didn't need that. He just wanted to know the very reason she didn't tell him. Whether it be she didn't think she was going to keep it or she just didn't want him to be involved. "Please, just get straight to it," he pleaded.

Mary Eunice nodded. "All right," she sighed. She took a second to collect herself, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. "I didn't want to get in your way," she steadily informed him.

"What?"

"I came over to tell you, and you told me about Katherine before I told you about the baby. You were about to move on with a girl you loved and I didn't wanna get in the way of that," she told him.

Kit sighed. "You still should have told me," he argued. "Katherine being in my life doesn't change the fact that Lily's my daughter."

"All it would have only complicated things," Mary Eunice wearily responded. She crossed her arms, looking down at the leaves that were scattered on the ground. She knew this was coming, but it still hurt her.

He was getting tired of hearing about how this was to help him. "You kept me from seeing my own daughter!" Kit snapped. He angrily huffed as he started pacing a small distance into the woods. After a few feet, he stopped and turned back to Mary Eunice. "I missed out on seeing my other children's first few minutes of life. I missed out on being one of the first people they met," he began.

"I'm sorry!" Mary Eunice cried, slightly turning to face him. She lifted her hand to wipe her tear stricken face. "What do you want me to tell you Kit? I panicked. I couldn't handle the thought of ruining someone else's life!"

Kit's face dropped. His anger replaced by a mixture of pity and concern. "You think I can be apart of her life now?" he questioned.

Mary Eunice just nodded. "Of course," she said.

"I have another question for you," Kit stated, taking a few steps closer to her.

Mary Eunice looked to him, slightly turning to face him. "What is it?" she asked.

"Why did you think that this would ruin my life?" he asked. It was more of a question about who he was and the impression he gave others. The reason he and Katherine never got married was because she thought he was too preoccupied. He was too busy with the kids. He always included the kids and then he would include Jude because the kids wanted her. Kit was starting to wonder if people just thought that he would neglect anyone else.

When it came to Mary Eunice, he did not want her thinking that he would have favored Thomas and Julia over Lily. He also would have spent more time with Mary Eunice is that was what she wanted.

"I told you, you had Katherine. My bringing a baby into the picture would mean that you would have to decide whether or not to be apart of her life. And if you did want to be apart of Lily's life, you would have had to sacrifice part of the time that you were putting into trying to form a family. Katherine would have been irritated and the kids would have to get used to a new baby sister. It was just too much for the time being," she explained.

"Well, you wouldn't have ruined my life," he assured her. "Why are you so concerned about it in the first place? From the way you're acting you would think that you see yourself as one huge burden to everyone," he added. He only said this because he didn't want her thinking that about herself. He did enjoy having her in his life after Briarcliff. She was a different person outside of that place, a nice, pleasant person. Someone that the kids also loved.

Mary Eunice shook her head. "You already know the answer to that. I've ruined plenty so far," she scoffed. She dropped her arms to her sides, reflecting back on her time at Briarcliff. "Did you hear what happened to Father Howard?"

"No," Kit responded, his interest peaked.

"He killed himself," Mary Eunice softly told him. "He, he slit his own wrists soon after he became Cardinal. I took the man's virtue and left him with nothing. He knew what happened. He was aware of the evil that violated him, and he couldn't handle it," she informed him, on the verge of crying fresh tears.

"He killed himself out of guilt. He ran that hell hole, he had to live with that," Kit reminded her.

"I got Jude committed by framing her for murder. A murder that I committed," Mary Eunice confessed, her voice beginning to rise.

"You're telling me that Jude didn't deserve to know what it felt like being in that place? She was the villain there. You were there, you saw the things she did," Kit argued. He wanted to ignore the fact that she confessed to murder. He did have some belief in the fact that she was possessed, and that meant that that wasn't even her fault. He also knew that she would never quite see it that way though.

Mary Eunice just sighed. "What about Lana? I was the one punishing her. I was the one that hired Thredson," she reminded him. "Jude was the one that got her out of there, not me. I was also the one making her keep her baby," she bitterly added.

"Lana killed that twisted bastard as soon as she got out. She went straight to his house and shot his brains out," Kit stated. "And any nun there would have had her keep the baby."

"But I killed mine," Mary Eunice softly whimpered.

"It was evil," Kit quickly replied.

Mary Eunice shrugged. "How do you know? I had some nightmares and went nuts. How does anyone know that I wasn't still possessed and he was just playing games with me? What if that baby was innocent? What if Lily could be playing with her big sister? What if I killed an innocent baby?" she desperately implored.

Kit saw the pain in her eyes, the longing for an answer that just wasn't there. "You can't dwell on that. It's not going to change what happened," he told her, trying to get her to snap out of her current thought process.

Mary Eunice softly laughed in spite of the situation. "You say that like it's simple," she noted.

"I never meant it like that," Kit told her. He sighed, as he walked to her. Firmly, he took hold of her shoulders. "You did what you had to do. Letting her live would have ruined her life," he clarified.

It was hard for Mary Eunice to just stand there and listen to him. There was no way that he could ever fully grasp the guilt and regret that she felt. He never had to go through anything similar to what she had done. It wasn't that she wished it on him, she could never wish that upon anyone. She just wished that he would try and understand before talking to her about this.

"There comes a time where the circumstances just don't matter anymore," she curtly informed him. She backed away from him, getting out of his grip. "I can tell myself over and over again that I needed to kill her. I can remind myself of everything I went through. And you know what? The image never changes. I always see the same thing. I see my dead baby in my arms," she painfully told him through gritted teeth. "I see her little eyes bulged out of her head. I see that disgusting blue tint in her face. The marks that my very hands made around her little neck. Evil or not, that child was mine and nothing is ever going to change that."

Kit sighed, he had no idea how to really respond to that. He just allowed the silence to fall between them as he slowly paced. "Now what?" he desperately implored, stopping and looking to her.

Mary Eunice ran her hand through her hair. "What I just said has nothing to do with what we were originally talking about," she pointed out.

Kit shrugged. "I dunno. It's why you feel so guilty," he offered.

Mary Eunice shrugged. "It doesn't matter anymore," she told him, finally turning and facing him.

"It does," Kit argued. "It's part of who you are. It's part of your story." Kit then sighed. "You wanna meet up with me and Lana after this?" he offered.

Mary Eunice took a second to consider the idea. "All right," she replied. "I'll come over," she told him. She had been able to patch things up with Kit, maybe now she could finally talk to Lana. It might ease her conscience.

"Good," Kit responded with a slight smile.

Oooooo

Kit, Lana, and Mary Eunice sat upstairs in Kit's house. They all three sat on the floor, staring out the window at the night sky. Mary Eunice and Lana sat right across from each other as Kit sat between them, facing the window. "I really thought that she was the one," Kit finished his story. He had been telling them about how his relationship with Katherine had ended.

Lana looked to Kit with sympathy. "I'm sorry," she dryly responded.

"Yeah," Kit replied with a nod. "Me too."

Mary Eunice just continued staring out the window. She felt some what responsible for the way things turned out in his life. If she would have told him about Lily, she could have been there when Katherine left him.

Kit noticed that Mary Eunice wasn't ready to talk yet, so he turned his attention back to Lana. "So how about you? Find anyone special?" he questioned.

"No," Lana sighed. Truth be told, she hadn't even considered looking for anyone yet. During the day she was busy working and then at night, when she was alone she thought about Wendy. "Not yet."

"I'm sorry," Mary Eunice softly said. She didn't dare turn to face her yet. Her eyes were glued to the leaves on the trees that were being turned over by the wind.

Lana turned to her, deciding to give her a chance. "I see you've obviously found someone," she stated, referring to Lily.

Mary Eunice just shook her head. "I left the father," she flatly explained. This was not the time to bring up what had happened between her and Kit.

"She's mine," Kit bluntly announced.

Mary Eunice looked to him, surprised at the hurtful undertone in his voice. What he didn't know was how much she regretted not telling him right away when she found out. She had every chance but never took them. Lily had just started kindergarten and had asked why the other kids had a daddy and she didn't. She and Lily had both been hurt by the words of others. Jude had been there for them, but it wasn't the same. They needed Kit and he wasn't there because of her.

Lana looked between the two. She had been sensing tension all night, but wasn't completely sure why, now she had her answer. "Oh," she whispered.

"It was at the same time that he had met Katherine," Mary Eunice defensively explained in attempt to soothe her own conscience.

Kit noted her reaction and decided to be more understanding. "I know," he gently replied. Even though he was still somewhat upset with her, the last thing he wanted to do was chase her away again. "Have you been with anyone since?" Kit asked.

Mary Eunice softly laughed. "The only reason I was with you was because Jude managed to get me drunk enough," she admitted. "It's hard for me to get comfortable with anyone anymore. You were actually the only man I've chosen to be with," she added, briefly smiling to him.

Kit softly laughed, remembering that day. "She seemed pretty determined to get you to drink with us," he mentioned.

Mary Eunice's smile faded. "She wanted to help me forget for a while," she explained. "I scared her the night before, telling her that I had no idea what to do anymore. I called her asking her if she could come over."

Lana looked to her with interest and pity. "Were going to...?" she started to inquire.

Mary Eunice looked to her with shame. "After everything, I just wasn't sure it was worth it anymore," she told her.

"What was she planning to do to keep you from trying again the next night?" Lana asked. "I'm sure she knew that she couldn't get you drunk every night."

Mary Eunice shrugged. "Maybe she would face that when it came," she blankly answered. It was hard for her to think about that night. Insomnia had decided to take hold of her, leaving her to lay there in bed. All she could was stare at the wall as she thought back on everything. She had heard that memories fade over time, but these were imprinted on her mind, guaranteed to scar her for the rest of her life. She remembered everything from handing Jude the newspaper to killing her own baby. She knew those memories would never leave her.

"Lily's the only reason I haven't gone through with it," Mary Eunice confessed.

"I thought about it a few times," Lana announced. "It was before my book was even finished. I had just gotten out. My first night back at my place, without Wendy. I didn't give it too much thought, but the idea was there."

"But you had everything to live for," Kit stated looking to her with surprise. "You were writing a book, you were going to shut Briarcliff down. You even got to kill that bastard," he explained. To him, he thought Lana was the only one who made it out of there just a bit stronger. Every one else had come out broken in one way or another. There were a couple times where Jude would snap and think that she was still in Briarcliff, Grace was obsessed with the aliens which drove Alma crazy, Mary Eunice felt guilty over everything. He himself just never truly felt as if he had moved on from that place. He would still think about it, still have dreams about the things that happened. It was something that was always going to be a huge part of his life.

Lana softly laughed in spite of the situation. "It's hard to see the good in anything anymore after being taught to not trust and to expect the absolute worst," she replied, her eyes down towards the floor.

"How about you?" Mary Eunice asked, looking up to Kit. It seemed like a pretty brave question to ask, but she truly was curious.

"No," Kit firmly answered. "I had Julia and Thomas to worry about." That was true. They were the only reason that he could have never even considered it. They needed him and he needed them.

Kit then looked between the two women. "So, anything good happen?" he asked, forcing a small laugh. The mood needed to be lightened. Sitting here in the dark thinking about suicide was not the way to spend this evening.

"Mommy?" Lily called from the doorway. She stood there, one arm tightly hugging her teddy bear to her while her other hand rubbed her eyes.

"Come here," Mary Eunice responded.

Lily's tiny feet quickly padded across the ground as she hurried to her mother. She sat down on her lap as Mary Eunice cradled her. This helped to calm Lily's fears after waking up in a dark strange room.

"What happened? Did you have a bad dream?" Mary Eunice softly questioned, stroking Lily's hair.

"I wanna go home," she whimpered.

"Why? This place isn't bad," Mary Eunice responded. "Besides, I'm still here. I won't let anything happen to you."

"Okay," Lily answered with a yawn. She wanted to argue but suddenly just did not have the energy.

"Come on," Mary Eunice said, helping her to stand up. "Let's go get you to bed," she stated, getting to her feet. Taking her daughter's hand in her's, she smiled to Kit. "You wanna help tuck her in?" she offered.

Kit nodded, glad that she was finally going to let him be apart of her life. "Yeah," he answered, standing. He looked down to Lana. "I'll be right back," he told her.

The two walked the little girl back to the room that she was staying in with Julia. They both remembered to remain quiet as to not wake her.

"There you go," Mary Eunice whispered as Lily climbed back into bed. Mary Eunice sat down beside her on the bed as she pulled the blanket over her to cover her.

Kit remained back from the bed as he watched with a small smile. She looked a lot like Mary Eunice. She had her mouth, her smile, her hair, her look of innocence and sweetness. He had just met her today, but he was able to see certain things about her.

Mary Eunice smiled back to Kit. "Would you like to come help me say good night?" she offered.

Kit nodded. "Yeah, sure," he answered. He swiftly headed over and sat down on the other side of Lily.

"Lily, this is Kit. This is your daddy," she introduced him. She had introduced the two earlier, but she wanted it to be more of a private moment when she told Lily that he was her father.

Lily's eyes widened. "Wow," she gasped.

Kit laughed. "Hey Lily," he greeted.

Lily just looked to Mary Eunice, unsure of what to do next. When her mother smiled to her, she looked back to Kit and waved. It was all she could do at the moment.

Mary Eunice looked over to Kit, hoping that he wasn't offended or anything that the little girl wasn't talking to him. "She's shy, she'll talk to you once she gets to know you," she explained.

Kit held up his hand. "I understand," he responded. She was five years old and didn't know him. Right now he was just glad that he was finally able to see her. Better now than ten years down the road. To him though, this was enough for tonight. Instead of sitting here, he thought he should go back with Lana and let Mary Eunice get Lily to sleep. As he stood up though, he felt a small tug on the back of his shirt. "Yeah?" he asked, surprised as he turned back to her. Lily simply wanted to wave to him. He softly laughed as he returned the gesture.

Oooooo

Kit walked out into the hallway to see that Lana had turned on a light. He headed back to the room and saw her looking over the packages of pictures that Jude had left. One for Kit and one for Mary Eunice.

"I didn't open it," Lana assured him as soon as she noticed him.

"Doesn't matter," he replied, joining her back on the floor. "I told you she had been friends with that photographer right?"

"He really liked what he did," Lana noted, examining the weight of the box.

Kit laughed as he took the package from her. "Yeah, he came over a few times with her for holidays and that," he explained. He then went ahead to open it.

Inside were various pictures of the different events such as Christmas and birthdays. There was a New Years Eve party. Then there were just random ones of like Julia and Thomas together and him with the kids and Jude with them.

"I thought you said that you hadn't even known of Lily up until now," Lana said as she closely studied one of the pictures.

"I didn't," he answered, not giving her much thought. He was too busy staring at a picture Julia and Thomas together playing in the snow. They were trying to build a snowman together.

Lana looked over, seeing that he was preoccupied. "Take a look at this," she instructed, handing him a picture. As soon as he saw it, Kit swiped it from her hand. It was a picture of Lily, Julia, Thomas, and Jude. The three kids were seated up on the counter as Jude stood at the end.

"That was her place," he whispered, trying to figure out when she had all the kids over there at once.

What he didn't know, was that it was taken a mere six months ago. It was right after Jude had found out that she was sick. She wanted to make sure that the kids got to know each other. This wasn't the only time that she had gotten them together. She would take Lily there while Mary Eunice worked and then she would call Kit and tell him to drop Julia and Thomas off so that she could do something with them.

Kit had noticed that Lily seemed awful comfortable with Thomas and Julia, but he didn't give it much thought. He had figured that it may have simply just been because they were kids too. Either way though, he was glad that Jude had done it.

Oooooo

"I don't understand," Lily whispered, her head turned towards the lamp as she stared to the window on the other side of the room. Her mother had just tucked her in and told her what it meant to die. Mary Eunice had explained that it was when your body stopped working and your soul went up to heaven with Jesus.

Mary Eunice sighed, looking into her daughter's confused eyes. She still did believe in God and everything. After everything that had happened, she believed in it more. What she did have a hard time with though was the fact that God let those suffer. He let her suffer. That was why this was all so hard to discuss with a five year old. That, and the fact that she couldn't tell Lily how she really felt about death, that it was a relief. It was the peace that some people fought for all of their life. It was a saving grace.

"What is it that you don't understand?" Mary Eunice implored with concern. Even though she didn't care to discuss it, she knew that it had to be done. She would rather feel uncomfortable for a few moments than have her daughter scared over what happened to Jude.

Lily turned to look to her. "Why do people die?" she questioned.

Mary Eunice bit her lip. This little girl was sitting here waiting for an answer as if this were a simple topic. This wasn't math where you could easily see that two plus two was four. "Well," she began. It was hard to put her words into something understandable. "God wants everyone to be thankful for everything they have. If you lived forever on earth, you would never have to learn to truly love other's around you, because you would always have another chance to make sure you weren't treating anyone badly. You have to learn to love and appreciate before you join everyone in heave. You understand?"

Lily shook her head. She was sure that there was something to what her mother had told her, she just didn't get it.

Mary Eunice nodded. She had to think of an easier way to say this. "Do you remember that book I bought you? The one about Snow White?" she inquired.

Lily smiled as she nodded with excitement.

Mary Eunice was amused with the little girl's reaction as she softly laughed. "Do you remember how when I would read a part of it to you, it didn't matter when we stopped? We could read three pages together, and if we felt like doing something else, we did something else. Do you know why it didn't matter?"

Lily just shrugged. Right now, she was just wanting to talk about Snow White. She didn't tell Mary Eunice that though. She seemed like she really wanted to talk about this instead.

"Because we knew it would always be there when ever we wanted to go back to it. When you know that something is going to always be there, you start to feel like it doesn't matter how much attention you pay to it. You can ignore it, and it will still be there later when you want to read it again. Do you get what I'm saying?" Mary Eunice asked, hoping she got something from that.

"You don't have ta finish it right away cus it'll always be there to finish when ya want?" she anxiously inquired, really hoping that she did get it.

"Right!" Mary Eunice replied. "And how do you feel about a book that you don't have to finish right away? Do you kind of start ignoring it? Maybe put it aside to play with your toys instead?"

Mary Eunice's smile grew when Lily nodded. "Now, think about the Cinderella book you got from the library. You were only able too keep it for a couple of weeks. How did you treat that book? Did you try to read it as quick as possible? Maybe a couple of times so that you could really enjoy it?" she implored.

"I read it two times cus I had to give it back and then I couldn't read again after that," Lily responded.

"You really liked having that book didn't you?"

"Yes."

"Now think that way about life. If you lived forever, it would be like the Snow White book. Nothing would matter because you could do things whenever you wanted. You could ignore people and it wouldn't matter because they would always be there to go back to and apologize to later on. When you only live here for a small amount of time, like when you had Cinderella, you work harder to enjoy things and be nice to people because you know that you won't always be able to those things," Mary Eunice told her. "God wants you to have to force yourself to enjoy the gift of life," she added.

Lily just stared at her. She kind of got it. She did enjoy Cinderella more than Snow White. When she had gotten Cinderella she was told that she only had it for so long and wanted to make sure to get in as much time with that book as she could. It wasn't like she didn't enjoy Snow White though. At the same time, she wanted to make her mommy happy. "I gets it," she stated. Once she saw a smile of approval, she thought it a good time to move onto her next question. "Is death scary?"

Mary Eunice stiffened at the question, her smile fading. "No," she curtly answered. "It happens to everyone eventually. But you don't have to worry about that for a very long time," she assured her.

Lily just nodded, her eyes going down to her hands.

"When it does happen though, some people view it as peaceful," she added. Subconsciously, she made sure to pull her sleeves down as far as they could go, making sure to hide the shameful act that she had once attempted. While searching for something more to say to Lily, she looked in the direction of the mirror in the room and saw Shachath standing there, shaking her head at her. It was the same way that she had shook her head at her the night she tried it. The same pitiful look. Her eyes full of concern, letting her know that it wasn't her time yet.

"It's getting late, and you need your sleep," she said, still preoccupied by the image in the mirror.

Lily looked over to the mirror, but didn't see anything. "Okay mommy," she replied.

Mary Eunice looked to her and forced a smile. "Good night honey," she whispered before leaning over and planting a kiss on the little girl's forehead. She then stood and exited the room, making sure to turn out the light and leave the door open a crack.

Straight from the bedroom, she rushed to the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She released the tears that had been threatening to leave her eyes. Her back was against the door as she balled up her fists, holding her sleeves down over her wrists.

She finally allowed herself to slide down to the floor. She hugged her knees to her chest, lowering her head and hiding her face on her lap. All the feelings that she had six years ago were still with her. She was destined to be permanently damaged. No matter what happened, there was no erasing the past and the feelings that it brought. She was truly broken, an angel fallen from her state of grace doomed to live without any sort of peace.


End file.
